Beliefs that make experience

Beliefs that make experience are not called beliefs. It is lived and called reality.

While the experience of acting on and being acted upon is engaged, the 'self' program runs, with the power of your attention and intent.

But your selflessness IS your love, your wholeness and peace - the very IS of you.

And while you can engage in thought based experience - you cannot rest in it - but by hiding truth and maintaining a hidden or private mind. And any such 'rest' is but illusion of peace - of false promise and no substance. For beneath its surface lies a selfish will that cares for nought but itself and its own ends.

Such a simple thought engaged with and given (your) life becomes such a convoluted complexity of conflicted experience that it has become blinded to the obvious and direct living truth - or even any association with such an immediacy. For the belief in the power of sacrifice is bedrock to all else that follows on.

To such a mind that begins to feel the Call, the Holy Spirit works within its mind - with its mind - to teach it, one step at a time, so as to undo the errors by which it gives its power away for a pain seen as pleasure. And it would not be kind to open the mind before it is ready, to the steps which it is not yet able to accept. Nor would such a step be seen as a step by an unwilling mind.

The 'short cut' is not to get somewhere quicker - but to fully engage the step in which the Call is felt - Now.

The teaching of the Holy Spirit uses all things. There is no way of truly evaluating ANYTHING - apart from the direct guidance of the Holy Spirit. And in such a true evaluation, you can discover what something IS for you now. It may be that it is not something relevant or needful to be attended by you, it may be that it is a nonsense, or a prompt, reminder, a touch or a remembrance. But this is of the Intimacy of your being. To trade this for an authoritative stance to take in the world is the original sacrifice re-enacted.

But in the gratitude and peace of loving is also to be the expression of something that teaches the giver of what he or she has received. This has the way of itself carried within itself, and may touch others so that they feel their own Holy Spirit Call.

I personally abhor the religions of sacrifice - yet am not as free of its tenets as my little mind would claim - or I would rest beyond all claims that seem to prove loss or suffering of any kind - while remaining an instrument of its undoing.

The willingness to make the journey of undoing - involves occasions of direct exposure to the raw hurt and hate - within a larger context of trust. The mind and its experience during such events is anything but 'spiritual' or spiritualizable. And among its voices are those that speak of betrayal, abandonment, and a tortured defeat into an abject loss of validity or power. But it is a lie - even if you have the wounds handy to back it up. To the lie - I say with Rumi - "listen NOT". Yet the mind that makes the lie believes it - and cannot not listen to it. Holy Spirit is the Mind in which I listen for the Heart and This I is NOT the 'me' I think I am. It is practicing the Holy Spirit that teaches me 'I am that I am' - because That Which Lives through me - (as all that is presence-ing itself in awareness) - is before the world, beyond the world and yet the recognition of the world restored to truth.

Who is here reading that has not love and gratitude for true guidance?


And it is the same for all because it is perfectly individualized to each equally - at every step.

Does that mean that we are really guided to conflict? No. That is to let the self in again.

We are oft guided through the enactments of apparent conflicts that are undone as we are willing to look upon them as within our own thought.

How could I ever have thought to condemn?!

(That is meant as the laughing away of a seeming problem - and not a serious question!)

NOTE: This writing arose from a conversation relating to the following writing by Rumi

"The Grapes of My Body."

The grapes of my body can only become wine
After the winemaker tramples me.
I surrender my spirit like grapes to his trampling
So my inmost heart can blaze and dance with joy.
Although the grapes go on weeping blood and sobbing
"I cannot bear any more anguish, any more cruelty"
The trampler stuffs cotton in His ears: "I am not working in ignorance
You can deny me if you want, you have every excuse,
But it is I who am the Master of this Work.
And when, through my Passion, you reach perfection,
You will never be done praising my name."

And my first response to it was:

The grapes of my body are the fruit I tried to make by myself - separated from the vine.

And while myself is unquestioned as separate, I resist Communication and suffer as if I am being trampled down and crushed by the misperceptions of conflicted mind.

In wakened truth I know this speaks not for the truth of my heart - and must be disregarded - that the truth shines clearly at its source.

And this Light is the undoing of the self I'd thought alone - whose struggles to regain the dark in which to appear real are logical from a premise of ignorance,

but in awakening I claim divinity and rest in the authority of the heart. I claim Self by accepting to no other.

My passion is not conflicted and polarised changing states - but is the presence of perfect love - perfecting the instrument of its expression.

Whose function and service is the ever and always beholding of the only and living G-d.

By this and by this alone am I.


True Willingness

True willingness aligns experiential opportunity with teaching.

But if using teachings only to help the 'self' that believes it lives within the world, the former may be largely absent and the latter may be experienced instead as pain or difficulty. And an answer will be sought or seen only in terms of a predefined 'me' and 'problem'.
True willingness releases the blocks that kept the deeper lessons gifts from dawning in one's mind.
And these lessons initiate transformational process in which a shift occurs and by which a sense of life is directly known – and which cannot be separated from in order to either inspect it – or think or speak about it - or indeed to manipulate it!
The restoration of true freedom is accepted through refusal to engage or employ guilt.

In guiltlessness, the Father-Source-Condition is Gracefully obvious in place of what before had been called the world.
In guiltlessness, the natural guidance of the heart moves at one with the revealed truth.
In guiltlessness, love of truth has replaced self-survival.
Yet what has been required to 'die' is not the life within – but the costumed projection of thought held secret.
Nothing has really changed – but now is seen as it is – without the overlay of self validating definition, commentary and past association.
This reverses the fantastic notion of seeing everything as it is not – as such fantasy is realized to be inherently unfulfilling – and its fruits are seen to be grown instead of - and at cost of - a true and direct appreciation of being.

In Peace



A sense of being denied

Imprisoned will is a sense of being denied, as if existing within a context of opposition – in which will tends to harden in self protection and act callously in self interest. It makes a version of love that serves to work ‘inside the imprisoned sense of life’ – but this love demands the conditions of self-will to be sacrosanct – or it turns instantly to betrayal and hate.

An ongoing sense of limitation can become an accepted set of parameters in which such a separate sense of life is played out – whatever seeming scenario that involves - and these can be more or less dense or confining, as long as it allows a sense of freedom to assert and indulge a private will.

The self imprisoned mind works to keep its fantasies, so as to minimise its awareness of the discomfort of limitation – and wants to believe it is in fact an independent will expressing a wish for freedom. Yet all of what this calls into experience is simply the result of active denial of a shared will – and this consequence is not somewhere down the line as punishment – but instantly - as the perspective of preferring a partial experience of an aspect of life rather than be in, and of, and as; flowing wholeness. Separated experience is got from an imaginitive overlay, set in a largely unconscious opposition to the current movement in the heart.

Opening, for even a moment, to a simple willingness to receive, (without precondition) is an expression of trust – and allows a reconnection at the heart that restores perception to the heart's perspective. From this love grows a willingness to look at the mechanism in mind - while it operates – so that the conditions of freedom and imprisonment become clearly shown. So much of what we believed freedom was in fact the means to keep our mind in darkness. So much of what we believed was failure, limitation or conflict becomes the means by which we are restored to true freedom. The freedom to be that we are – and to accept and express shared will – or the present and spontaneous movement of the heart in trust.

To recognise that we but imprison ourselves is a similar step to an addict acknowledging addiction.
From this acceptance can all else be restored - such as our desire discovers in alignment with the awakened shift that released us from fantasy and moved in us as both the call for love – and the answer.

When Nelson Mandela was imprisoned there were many who wore a badge - 'Free Nelson Mandela'. Every time I saw this I would feel the movement in my heart that said "You are free Nelson Mandela". For love waits on welcome and not on time – and I joined with the welcome of his heart by extending a welcome to him.

The result of imprisonment believed can express as loss, bitterness or a self diminishment – from which one then acts out in reaction. Yet to use the opportunity of any kind of experience of imprisonment to learn of the true nature of freedom restores peace, humour and compassion.
Such are the flowing treasures of life and such cannot be taken from a mind – without collaboration from 'the inside'.
Yet such treasures do they serve any purpose to a will determined to remain private, withheld from 'sharing' in justification of its own judgement.

When we have done our time, eternity welcomes its own.
But first restores our use and experience of time to serve the way of the heart.
Thus we can recognize what can be shared – and appreciate the experience of sharing – letting all else fall away of itself. There is much opportunity to learn and share of life eternal – here within the limitation to a world and self-sense of limitation. Not least of which – is that 'I do not want to indulge the experience of limitation as it costs me the appreciation of living truth'.


A present focus in our relationships

When we notice that we have a tendency to tell our ‘story’ over and over again and thus reinforce our own identification with the script, we can choose not to do it. To simply not engage the practice. as a discipline of the heart.

A complementary approach is to simply but firmly hold a desire and willingness to bring attention into present focus in our relationships.

This naturally becomes mind-watching – but is in the context of letting relationship bring us present rather than use it to replay the past or anticipate future and confuse these with Now.

An untrained mind ‘meanders all over the place’ in both time and space. imagination plays a large role in this because – we are not all over the place – we are in present relationship with.

To bypass predefinitions about our present relationship – is to allow a fresh discovery aligned with truth as it is revealed to our willingness and welcome.

When we behold or receive the presence of another, rather than ‘read them in terms of our ‘personal database of comparative impressions’, we become the act of giving attention presently. This is of the nature of love and draws communication of like kind in a manner that is fitting or helpful within the current setting.

Predefined realities make for pre scripted reactions that become - in effect - armouring against intimacy.
Intimacy is firstly within our own heart – and then extends outward.
Attaining ‘familiarity’ of social ease may become a lubricant to successfully prevent the friction or embarrassment of the mask slipping off.
We can easily not realise that we are so engaged - if in a society that normalizes substitution for life.

Living without the mask is to live out of a present trust. This could be to trust to shine or share openly that which is normally associated with weakness – but without apology or sense of problem.

I have a gang of plasterers working in my house this week. They are working with Radio 1 and getting high spirited in occasionally singing along – albeit in larking about mode. I tend to see Radio 1 as a sort of mind killing medication – self applied – in desire to lubricate and mask dis-ease.
Oh I hate it!
But in this context I may use it – to observe and move beyond reactivity. I can of course ask them to turn it down, turn it off, go for walks or trips out, shut doors, play my own music, or whatever. But the thing is not what I do or don't do – it is simply whether it expresses reactivity or true communion. I don't care for challenges – but I do care to be open to the Spirit’s prompting – and here is an opportunity to allow transfer into areas I have kept apart!

My partner Cathi visits people at home as part of her work. One particular man was broadcasting ‘hard done by’ and grievance with such dramatic intensity that Cathi was inspired to step completely beyond the show - and simply ‘was given’ an instant of knowing that shared as she caught his eye in recognition of the one behind the show.
This act did not oppose or criticise his tirade – yet it effectively pulled the curtain on one who had become exclusively engrossed in an activity that simply misses the mark – and allowed a more practical communication to occur that served well being.

When one meets the heart’s attention, one is brought present.
That which isn't true – falls away.
That which is true is more clearly expressed and revealed.

The mind-habit seeks to regain a sense of control and this ‘takes’ attention back into story. Yet repeated willingness over time fruits the capacity to abide in Identity at Rest – and the stillness shifts from seeming something lacking or threatening to being the sense of Home. Where Light clearly is. Where joy abides.

in Love's blessing

Postscript: I did enage a process of release regarding the radio and this has allowed and brought forth a discovery of each other in new ways rather than a polarisation of difference.


The Church in its self image is not the living Church – for such must be the revealed relationship of Divine Love; the Holy Relationship. “I build my church on You because you who are inherently worthy are willing to share the will of God

An historical organisation developed that calls itself the Christian Church – but this is the largely the result of interpreting Jesus in terms of the world – as the bringer of a worldly kingdom, or a kingdom in worldly terms, with hierarchical levels of status – ‘some of which are ok but some of which are excellent’. The disciples would fall out in seeking to pre establish a pecking order – seeking to sit in the best places! And this despite everything Jesus demonstrated and said of the nature of the Father’s unified and healing Will.

External structures can serve to express and enable a sense of order and unity - and CAN serve as an egg or embryonic phase. But they can also become dedicated to self seeking – which is to say: blinding with and binding to a false sense of self. In such conflicted mind, man is ruled by the chaotic nature of his own false gods - all of whom are reflections of a false self. This sets him against himself and therefore against his brother, both of whom are ‘cast out’ by the mind that denies love’s meaning in preference for its own.

To be given unity or order from without is to be under the law of man – even if it is called divine.
To express unity and order from within is to extend the Divine – without any need to call it anything – or indeed to create any kind of external structure.

The female is our receptive aspect.
The Church waits for the Bridegroom to fulfil and validate it.
But the Bridegroom cometh ‘when you thinketh not’!
As the Christ is lived in our relationships – so is the Second Coming realised.

If we insist on needing an external Parent – we will refuse or deny the authority within and draw such quality forth, but it remains the role of the parent to wean and guide the child into responsibility for discerning and accepting love’s will as our own.

Be you received in and by the ‘feminine’ of God, as you yourself receive, embrace, and nurture the Movement of Being; the Life and the Light.
Such is joy – such is glory – such is the wonder and the power of love and life.

I pray in my heart to let this be so – that I neglect to be ‘lonely’ in self seeking blindness.

in Love's blessing


The I that is We

I read a book once called ‘The I that is We : Awakening to higher energies through unconditional love’ - by Richard Moss
I enjoyed it when I read it.

When the I is subordinated to Relationship itself, it becomes only an expression of Relationship itself.
Or as Jesus in A Course in Miracles puts it:
‘God Wills not to be alone’.

I can seem to have a will to be alone, apart, different, private. And it gives me an experience of a world unlike God.
In such a world there is no peace of heart, joining all things in one light. No constancy of being or sureness of step. But a deep seated fear over and against changes that cannot be mastered.

Some believe that ‘angelic deception’ is behind such teachings as A Course in Miracles – and that the plural ‘we’ used at times by the author or ‘dictating voice’ is an indicator of the legion nature of the deceiver. However, certainty is not to be asserted by the mind – but is to be rediscovered by grace – in the heart. The mind that denies and attacks needs ‘enemies’ in order to maintain its own sense of validity to itself. The mind that embraces and includes needs brothers to share love’s remembrance.

If there could be an enemy of love it would be the intent to exclude oneself from it – but you cant be your own enemy. Except in fantasy played out in private - ‘not knowing what you do’.
The ‘awakened we’ is not the joining or the sum of separate fantasy roles.

We are your living love.

The projection or extending of love’s inclusion is the Gift that restores sanity. For by your gifts you know your mind – and by extending the mind as you are truly Given – you know your Father’s Light in all.

To recognise the gifts you give, that are not what you would in love give or receive – is to begin to disinvest in them by withdrawing value.


The belief that you are not awake

Within this belief - you 'live' within limitation.

But the Life is given you - as you - and is one with the Light of your very being or awareness.

Its nature has become obscure to the mind that has adapted to survive in darkness.

But it is you unrecognized.

If the ego can find it - it will kill it.

For you are awake and it is the part of your mind that would deny this - that it's 'life' is maintained.

To see the part of your mind that would do this - merely allow joy to shine and share - and watch.

If the mind denies you even such a simple request then your desire is already denied and is allowed no access to you as yet.

The part of your mind that is awake is with you always - and in all ways.

You can not truly have two opposite minds - but the voice or desire of truth will wait for you to make up your mind about your mind - and then guide you to the reintegration of the mind in the single desire of the heart.

To have discovered your willingness to be so guided is truly a part of your awakening.

Be aware that your awakening will be auto-denied by the mind that is asleep - which may use any symbol or form for its own intent. In other words it can use "I am awakened" just as it can use "I am not awakened" to validate its story as real to you.

Nurture and grow the desire to bring your willingness present amidst the conditions of sleep - or thinking based experience. This is the willingness to be with - rather than withhold in judgement.

What you give to one you deprive the other. Your experience will change as a result - but do not look to your experience to see what and who you are - or you put yourself under the mind of external seeking again. Look now within.

Trust is the condition in which true desire works unimpeded.

An open mind is without filters - and simply open to all that it is - without assertions of partiality.

In such an awareness the movement of being can naturally be discerned clearly.

Such learnings are experiential. It is in the flowing that the knowing is felt.

To start from a frozen 'knowing' is to try to make the flow fit your filter.

This is the experience of opposition.

Monkeys can be caught by using a fixed gourd with a fruit inside but only a hole large enough to allow the monkeys hand to enter. It grasps the fruit and tries to retrieve it but cannot now get its hand out while holding the fruit.

To regain its freedom, it must release the good as it sees it - and cease in the attempt to overcome the obstruction as it sees it.

The mind is free to stop everything, release any current running programs, and receive anew a fresh evaluation of what is really going on?

But notice that any running program that is not released will prevent the rebirth of original mind.

Thankyou for your attention

in Gratitude



If you wish to get out of hell

If you wish to get out of hell ... then reverse the procedure of what brings on such experience.

Instead of reacting from your determination that all is as you judge it to be ... Stop.

Do nothing to defend yourself from your heart's knowing - so that you can truly wonder, 'what is the truth here? - rather than enact the drama of the story as it seems at first to be.

Hold fast to this desire, though all manner of diversion and distraction attempts may seem to compel attention to collapse into ‘fight or flight’ scenarios.

Such practice remains potent even if holding for but a conscious instant before retreating to the familiar strategies of dealing with the 'devil you know'.

The humanly real thing here is in the willingness to challenge the fear mind-set at all! Not in some magical scenario of 'succeeding' in overcoming fear at symptom level - but in desiring honesty amidst disordered thought.

The capacity to look on - or abide through - the fearful - is grown in the practice of living from the heart; the exercise of grounded trust.

As long as one merely entertains spiritual ideas - one is in the realm of a hopefulness that one can somehow conquer fear without undergoing transformation. In other words - one is engaged in denial. This is as good as any place to start from. Its the only place to start from.
To have awakened to the starting place is a significant step from which the rest will follow.

The journey is not one of acting upon and changing externals - but of allowing one's own perspective to be replaced by the perspective of peace. You cant 'do' this as you think of doing - for it is the calming of the doing mind that allows awareness to shine clearly - your vision restored.

Your reality - really - is as much one with the ‘Kingdom of Heaven’ as anything ever will be - but how will this be recognised by one who sees only the past - and in terms of the past - in expectation of a future the same as the past?

It is true that many aspects of conflicted self are of such an intolerable nature - that they goad you to invest heavily in a direction that is felt to be serving 'the good' in atoning for 'the bad'. Such re-orientation of the human heart can enact a desire for good - but it is still 'the good' in terms of your own determinations and doesn't represent the Father's Will unalloyed - nor will such attempt bring your healing - until and unless it expresses a peace of being that is wellspringing from a wholly present love that does not have to justify the past to be - all that it is - or take its meaning from a past framework.

For the attempt to escape a believed situation, will inevitably reinforce the reality of the situation as you have judged it. The use of private judgement excludes and splits - and always leads to conflict, fear and guilt.

To truly ask for the truth amidst any 'hell' is to desire peace above all else. Because peace is the condition in which truth can register with you. This will likely seem to be humiliating because it is the relinquishing or the forgoing of your own judgement - upon and by which the self image is constructed. It may also seem to intensify fear temporarily in moments of resistance to change. But it does so within a larger sense of opening relationship. The thread of the intuition to recognise that you want and need change becomes the communication link that draws the heart present as your re-membering.

The experience of having peace replacing conflict is salvatory - and the resumption of the heart's loving appreciation is raw praise and gratitude. Life itself speaks you anew.

Such qualities of new life grow in us and express the nature of our shared being. Comes a time when to be out of communion in any sense - becomes a 'hell' - or painfully unattractive.

Yet it helps - and is natural - to have an alarm to feedback that the mind has over-ridden the heart communion, instead of serving the heart's direction. To learn to become numb to natural alarm is to teach that sleep is salvation. This will not work - though it will keep you in hell - albeit dimly recognised at times.

It may seem a slow path to practice, over and over again, the willingness to 'be wrong' or mistaken about yourself and everything - and make the journey of willingness to be still and let truth abide in you, instead of enforcing your own self-certainties as your experience.

If, from the willingness to release the world you made, you are realising that there really is no separated self in it, that is ever going to attain to enlightenment - or be added to with spiritual powers or capacities - then HOORAY!!!

Now you are more available to the willingness for enlightenment to be as it already is - and know it by its fruits.

Your innate Holy Spirit is teacher and Guide to you - whatever the agencies by which these occur.

Your Holy Spirit knows and loves the truth that is you and reveals and restores truth to you, by the desire that He reveals - step by step - to be yours.

As you live out from this desire you grow in the capacity to discern the mentality of illusion as illusion.

Which enables a greater love to be shared with all. For what is released from illusion is freed for truth.

Hell is unshared life. No matter the forms that may be presented of joining or separating.

There can be no unshared life in truth - for you cannot be unshared from your Father or Source. You can wish to take such a notion seriously enough to pursue your thought in private realm - and put it between you and the truth of you like a veil across your mind.

That we do not create our being, is self evident, except to the mind so engaged in trying to maintain such an wish that its imagination is more real to it than it’s own being.

To have held a map upside down and then diligently made wrong choices in ignorance thereafter has not effected change to truth itself - but only to your awareness of it. Because we neither make - nor can unmake - truth. The appreciation of truth - as it is - is remedied by regaining a correct orientation.

Only as you accept healing for your own split mind - can you become an agency for the healing of other minds, who yet make themselves afraid in ignorance, and see no light of love's inclusion within the reach of their capacity to receive and believe.

Thankyou for the sharing


Awakening is indeed wholly Good News

The recognition of 'not peace' or 'not fulfilment' or 'not connected within' - is by the grace of awareness - so to acknowledge such a state - is to have paused and listened - and is not in itself judgement against self or other.

The momentum of the thinking mind - or 'story mind' - in ignorance - can use the glimpse as yet more fuel for its story of self. It says: "I lack, am inadequate, or am deprived of my good". If you elect that this voice speaks for you - then you stay within 'your story', asleep.

But to let the present realisation of felt dissonance be allowed, as a trigger for the further influx of awareness, is to trust into relational silence - beyond the range of the 'story mind'. This practice will - in effect - open the presumption of a prior communion as the lens of your experience, in which the 'story mind' takes on a different purpose; namely that of using experience to teach, reflect and extend only that which moves alive within - and through - all that is.

In this, the realm of experience may be enjoyed without identification with the story - as the revelator of the light and truth that is itself beyond experience - yet one with being.

But as we choose again to ascribe parts of experience more or less value or reality - we will again re enact the script of separation and forget who and what we are in Truth. To enjoy without introducing the separation is to be enjoyment itself - empty or innocent of self strategy - sharing the 'Kingdom' with the 'Kingdom'.

This ‘sharing’ is the original 'language' of oneness - because it has not believed itself to have left the mind of God - and then used that story - as a lens of its own self exploration.

The original remains truly the only language of communication and bleeds through, despite the script that interprets all things to promote and protect a falsely identified self. Yet the original cannot altogether be lost because it remains part of what you are, no matter how the mind is used.

Touch on what is realised to be truly unwanted - only - to awaken - to be renewed as - the movement of true desire - that is given you by virtue of Being, itself . This is allowed in, by your disregarding all of what the ‘my story mind’ has taught, (through experience, as memory) - by not using it!

Awakening is indeed wholly Good News.


It is indeed a fools errand to seek for the good, the beautiful and the true in merely external terms. However, the folly is to be discovered within your own experience - and therefore simply undone by the wisdom that replaces it - if you will. Giving to God is a way of not claiming for yourself alone. It doesn't deprive one of pleasure - but locates the true context of pleasure - AND - works to undermine the habit of self deprivation that the illusion of private gain always facilitates.

Be fixed on truth in the heart - God Is - and be wary of missing the mark - sin. The 'death' that sin entails seems provable because it is repeatable - but only for as long as you are willing to prove it to yourself by repeating care-less or love-less behaviour of thought and attention. And the signs of guilt are always the sign that this remains unrecognised and uncorrected on oneself - wherever the guilt or dis-ease seems to manifest.


get out of the way!

The attributes of truth are – like truth itself - not communicable to the mind that thinks to control truth.

Under ‘ego sense’ I has its own version of light , peace and joy. But its ‘within-ness’ is devoid of love – no matter how much energy is exerted to make a presentation – and no matter whether I or anyone else accepts the presentation as if it were presence.

In terms of such a masked perspective – I does not and cannot know ‘what’ it is that is being allowed, and opened to - when moved to refuse or forego ego strategy’. For this is opening into relationship from attempted control at expense of real relationship.

Faith is an inner formless knowing-feeling that pre-exists any thought process of my own and which is part of the same knowing that knows my own thought but renders loveless unreality.

The ceaseless occupation of the mind is an avoidance of the recognition of the lack of loving-connection, now. To be still enough to notice and abide with disquiet and acknowledge it is so, is a real step.

For the mind in deluded self protection would seduce attention with whatever distraction works, so as to keep the within-ness of you out of mind.
Such is a mechanism employed by an old repetitive desire, yet you can learn to watch it so as not to be seduced into mesmeric compulsion.

In such blindness, Living Moment is obscured. Living Movement is unfelt. Living Love unshared. The restoration to your mind to your true Mind is salvatory. For you are thus ‘saved’ from your illusions of life unshared.

Only in such awakening love can we know that ego is not here – for the wholeness of Mind embraces and includes all that it is – and judges not against itself.

The breakthrough intuitions and glimpses of truth may seem fleeting and momentary – for the mind of control is deeply habituated – and does close down the trust in which light is freely shared – even though it may seem to be in the name of a good or well meaning intent.

It can be a long and hard lesson to uncover the deceptions whereby we seek to add the ‘Kingdom’, to all things we have first assumed to our selves.

The wish to love does in part hold symbol of the embers of true desire – but the will to love can only arise from the movement of being itself.
It could be said that our job is to ‘get out of the way’.

The story of Diogenes comes to mind: Diogenes was a Stoic philosopher who lived in some kind of barrel and became famously wise. Alexander the great, desired to meet and listen to this one and so travelled to where he lived and asked of him his wisdom – offering “anything in my empire that you desire as a reward”. Diogenes responded thus: “Step aside, for you are blocking my sunlight”.

This could be interpreted as defiance and independence of spirit relative to worldly power – but I see a direct and true awakening gift – from love to love.


Be-loved thou art

1. Those who would become enlightened, peaceful, and loving, must give way to the arising of light, peace and joy - which is come in response to truth-desire.

2. Let the ‘wish to become someone or something’ yield to the truth that already shares itself as Movement of Creation.

3. Accept the ‘already life’ of your eternal being by releasing the mind-life that seems to be ‘going somewhere’, (the progressive model of attaining escape or return).

4. Awaken to the Effulgence of the light of Truth and let that Expression through you - reveal all things anew.

5. Listen to the way, the truth and the light and be as one and at one - as your truth and nature reveals in trust.

6. Abide in the silence of being - in which you make and assert no image of self.

7. Love is your redeemer in the heart. Joy shines witness in unselfconscious demeanour. Gratitude sings praise of upwelling wholeness of Life.

8. May the glimpses of shared holiness, accepted, become the greening of the desert. Turn from the self and world of lack.

9. Be-loved thou art.


The above came as a morning meditation.

(1) The first sentence reminds me of John the Baptist as rendered by Holy Spirit in NTI – but calls attention to the Presence (Holy Spirit/Jesus) – here and now – of our true and inviolate sanctity.

(2-3) The next two sentences speak of that by which we are deceived into motions of a self defeating nature. The idea of a self that is accepted - or identified as self- is like the bait with which we run – and get hooked into a futile attempt to overcome. fix, or struggle within.

(4) Yet our true context is the Already Life – but this knowing cannot reach attention while attention is fully engaged in pseudo mode. We cannot imagine how beautiful and wondrous is the nature of truth awakened – but by the relinquishment of the effort to (imaginatively) self create – Truth will dawn from within of itself.

(5) Practice (live) from the ground of revealed and received truth – which is of consistent willingness to be with what is – as it is. (6).

The fruits of Spirit give witness to its expression, though their Source is unspeakable. (7).

The mind of lack and lustre will seem to close over the moments of shared being that penetrate the dream - until allegiance shifts to always accept love of truth before self-made meanings. (8).

Being and its expression. Ours to share in. Ours to give and receive. Our simple truth.

The space: an invitation to move in trust and freedom. (10)

in Love's blessing


To those who have, it shall be given them - and you cannot (really) deny your being.

The Holy Spirit's Interpretation of the New Testament - (NTI in short), is one of very very few books I have engaged with love over these last years.

Holy Spirit inspiration, voice, presence and identity is awake enough in this one that I am not moved to seek without – in the world – for teacher or teaching – for I would trust and allow the flow of what is awakened to draw to it - and be drawn - to all that it needs. Yet I remain open to teachers and teachings as I receive them in the heart – the 'Holy Spirit knowing' – that distils the essence in the light of Sense.

The author of A Course in Miracles is called Jesus – but feels to be loving-peace. So likewise the author of NTI. Sometimes as I write, I feel the same. The specific is a function of the Universal.

So I have not a ‘Wow – This is it!’ reaction to NTI – or indeed any other external. Yet of course the wordless recognition in the heart of t h i s Living Instant – is the Life we share with God.

To myself and no doubt others – I can just seem some bloke with various idiosyncrasies, and patterns of thought and behaviour that are of the nature of the mind of my culture and time.
But this is not the truth of either me or of those who meet me, for truth is not expressed in parlance of judgements, comparisons and accorded values. All of which emanate from 'I want it thus!'.

A sense of being uncovered to oneself in such a hidden determination is no fun. Though the actual instant of awakening opens the wellspring of true joy. Selfishness or special-self-ness is pervasive at levels we are only just beginning to be aware of. Yet is this not the growth of the capacity to be free of programming – and thus appreciate and enjoy a greater circle of Identity and participation?

The urge to ‘awaken’ is not so much a desire that the world align with my own ways or ideas – but that joy is made truly welcome and shared – as is its nature. As is yours and my nature.

The mentality that denies, undermines, subverts or commandeers joy is a blind wish – but we who read this are waking up to that such wish is not our truth nor our desire.

The consideration of ideas is not necessarily shallow, for the heart listens and can awaken to its own call.
The process in awakening is like an ongoing revisiting of the original error – at the levels and forms of re-enactment that are currently within range of attention.
And by not accepting mechanical identification, attention is unbound and we are free to see and hear of the truth – that we may be its agency - and of like kind.
Any degree of willingness to not accept fear’s dictate opens the door of the mind to that it was - and is never - shut out.
Such a realization automatically leads to your welcome of your brother – for judgement is one: the shutting out is of rejection.

The awakening path within the world will at times bring fear and doubt of one’s own sanity. Fear at such times will open deeply laid scripts that – in effect – revert the mind to self-will in exclusion. Yet a light is within that is not altogether forgot. Practice isn't a matter of success and failure – but of desire and capacity to stay with. Despite the voices of success and failure.

The peace, love-Presence and wisdom of NTI offers far far more than getting one’s ideas ‘enlightened’. It is of the enlightenment itself – revealing You to You as You Are.
Yet this statement is from one who has accepted – and is willing to live the acceptance.

Those who yet struggle to maintain their self as they think it to be – cannot see or hear the Call as the call to Life.
A thief cannot trust an open hand and heart.
But amidst honest experience of conflict and confusion arises a sense of a better way and a desire to find it.

'Not my way – but Thine'.

I thought I was going to talk about something else – but instead I wrote as I wrote.

in Gratitude



Death thoughts

Death pervades the illusion of ‘life-as independent entity’.
as if ‘Escaping’ eternal and infinite ~ Being.

The cosseting of self-mind as continuum
but witnesses to a false desire.

A pretense engaged in earnest.
Hid in denial of by force of will.

The mind now is employed to justify ‘me’
Em-bodies demand for separated autonomy.

The ‘i’ of such ignorance is but puppet
to a pulling of strings to ‘keep me alive’.

For ‘death’ engaged pulls a curtain
and sets a stage for ‘private’ thought to dance

Exeunt and en-trance
a comi-tragic re enactment

Whose casting out in scene compels
in the way of an imagining, believed,

by which ‘life and death’ engage attention
and attention seems to have external source.

For such a mind ‘sees’ eternal Life
as death and fights, and fights to hide some more

It seeks eternal justification
of its own curtainty.

For such a mind is born
of wish to be escaped of truth.

And such a wish accepted, is given
currency, as desire to decide truth.

To be restored to truth
is to let truth decide for you.

The reversal of a self-enslavement
is your freedom to accept truth-service

Whose heart eternal is restored
as of secret heart are weaned.

Look not to ‘play awakening’ on the cast,
But see a play in mind and owning, know.

I of truth-knowing is of one Already unbroken Flow,
Awakened, escapes the mind its separation fantasies.

Let the dead deal with the dead
For I am here, and I call the living.


Separated thoughts or things as if self existing entities

If Mind is All in All then no separate thing is and Peace is now the truth of One.

A separated mind is like a virtual space suit.
From the perspective of the space suit the Flow of One is perceived as the fragmented many – each a thing in space and in time; each a world unto itself.
Separated existence is illusion in story – for all of this is within You – and not apart and outside.
The Already and Always You. The Is.

Seeing things as ‘outside’ and independent of Awareness includes thoughts – which are apparently things – but are shadow traces of the patterns made by obstructing the Flow – which then seem to insinuate or witness to a thinker. A doer of thought. An entity. There is no doer of thought – but the act of attention perceived within the presumption of a being a doer is a distortion of the receptivity of awareness.

Nonsense thoughts are groundless.
At no instant are they actually present.
But seem to be something coming – something passing.
The Divinity of something is what is revealed as obvious when no definition is asserted, identified with – or defended.
Stillness knows because all is as it is – accepted - not excluded.

Holy Spirit Mind reveals the intent and purpose behind a thought as you give willingness to receive the truth. Such a thought translated may have a spark of reflection of living truth. Like wheat among the tares.
Living truth is all in all and all loving thought is true for love gives and receives itself by its own nature.

If the intent of a thinking is to make distraction such that the split in mind remains hidden then the thoughts are decoys - nothing in themselves. Such intent is a wish for such a nothing to make a context in which all the meanings of the self in world can be played out in story and experienced.

Polarised reality is the reflection of a split in mind.
The attempt to heal, fix or deny the split feeds it.
This is experienced as ongoing opposition or conflict.
With shifting allegiances in a flux of changing identifications.
Presumed to be happening to a someone – who has a frail and vulnerable mind – within a hostile environment.
Yet these are all but thoughts that make shadows while held in attention.
You are as the Light believing it is a fragment within a darkness.
Inside out mind.
You awaken as you accept stillness as the core and ground of reality.
This is experienced as Flow.
Without opposition.

The instant you think you know
the thought shadow binds and blinds
by its belief.
The knowing is the Flowing Is

Self less yet Self of all.
In This One all things are Homed - undone of thing-ness.

I am grateful for pausing and writing.
I allowed the noise to dissipate and fall away
by calling attention Home.

in Gratitude



The wants of the mind

The wants of the mind
is the ‘maker’ of externality
in a thought of self lack.
But nothing is external
to what Mind is.

The source of ‘what Mind is’, is within
yet beyond - all sense of self and object.
“Father” to all that is.
All that we Are.

In this acknowledgement lived,
nothing is lacking.
Rest you in peace,
Heart desire fulfilled at its root.

From such realisation
comes only expression
of unconflicted truth.

Within this current
all guidance flows
without opposition.

The wants of the mind
attended to,
is the forgetting
of the heart.

Within this forgetting,
opposition seems true.
Sometimes desirable.
Sometimes intolerable.

A song of a self,
in mad adventure
sung to your own ear
over and over.

Turn attention within,
and the song dissolves
from lack of value given.

With the eyes and ears of within.
See and hear truly,
and be glad.


Awakening with Jesus to Non duality

Awakening is a modern term for what Jesus meant by ‘the Kingdom of Heaven’. Jesus’ life and message has inevitably been interpreted through the filters of human ignorances; the predicate beliefs by which we think we already know what and where and who we are - and what anything is. This is not to deny the glimpses that are recognized, but to remind us that we can grow in our capacity to listen and accept truth, and live by the guidance of truth.

The mind in the world is ‘looking outward’, yet our experience of the world is effect and reflects what is active within our hearts and minds. Until love is welcomed in the heart, fear locks attention to face out and is the resistance to looking within.

This rigidity is a kind of self protection by means of a self limitation, but is based on a sense of self that is itself judged and judging, limited and limiting, lacking and ‘unlike love’. Such is a sense of sin - and the attempt to deny, hide, mitigate, displace and dissociate or indeed overcome, fix or heal - all by our selves - is the act by which sin is made real to us.

God is a term that can be used to point to the unspeakable Intimacy of life that is the current Gifting of Being itself. God ‘Speaks' All That Is - yet to be directly in clear receipt we must be still of our own thinking, and of the desire to be the determiner of all meanings.

Such a wish or desire is the root or fundamental error from which self illusion stems.
The belief in ‘sin as Reality’ is the substitution of our own judgmental thinking for the felt relational discernment of the current moment in a heart that listens in an unalloyed trust.

Discomfort is the inevitable and inherent experience arising from the attempt to hold ourselves ‘out of true’ - for it is a condition of unrest to assert or engage wishful thinking in which we 'be as we are not'.

But in an unquestioned desire or wish to continued exerting a private will, we will inevitably interpret such discomfort as opposition to our ‘self’, and attempt to control or overcome it.
The result is a ‘war on Self’ that brings experience of a shattered or broken trust, pain of abandonment and separation, guilt of punishment and loss.
This is such intolerable and chaotic experience that the mind in reaction seeks to limit and control. The partition and suppression of such confusion in fear and illusion, gives rise to experience of a pervasive yet largely unconscious fear that erupts or leaks into all sorts of events and relationships - despite all attempts to create or enforce order by any and every means.

Yet such is a story - engaged with will and passion, founded on a secret wish that is an idea that can be accepted or released - and not the proof of a separated existence - though such will it seem to be for the one who wants it true for them.

Nothing can be as it is not but that we tell ourselves so and pretend that ‘it is telling us’. In Truth All Is - As it Is.

The power of the mind can be used to create experience of limiting ourselves, but that in no way limits the innate power of the mind - excepting within the mind that believes its own judgement.

The willingness to release judgement and allow our mind into alignment with truth is realization and awakening of the mind to its true nature.
Because the true nature of mind is inclusion, our dream of a life is not obliterated, attacked or in any way judged against. Rather, it is transformed, translated and restored to extend and share the mind at one with itself and therefore with all.

This we find as a process of healing and awakening within the human story of the separated self - by which the mind is guided to the undoing and retracing of the steps by which it believed it made itself as it is not and suffers accordingly.

The guidance of original mind is what Jesus referred to as the Holy Spirit.
This guidance and presence and identity may seem at first to be external to a mind that has externalised itself - but is the Voice of your true nature, mind and desire. Guidance has no ‘self’ in terms the world understands - yet understands your self for you and to you - from an altogether present perspective.

Holy Spirit Mind uses all that is already in your mind - in your experience - to teach you - as you are willing to hear, to listen, understand and accept. Our innate Teacher uses all teachers, and all opportunities of event and relationship and thought, to guide the mind from fear and fragmentation, to love and unified inclusion.

Yet ‘in the world’ the voice of the ‘independent self’ or ego - is loud, distracting, coercive and persuasive - and Holy Spirit guidance is as a still small Voice in the wilderness.
To make welcome for the spirit of truth is a willingness of heart that must become the new directive for any who desire the peace that only resting in truth can give.

We are not called to fight evil, nor to overcome the world in its own terms. We are called to listen in trust and discern the truth of love in place of the mind by which we had deceived ourselves. Such is practical wisdom.

No step is really small or large - but is the expression of a growing light of willingness in a mind that had come to believe darkness to be the truth.

No one comes Home alone - for remembering you are not alone is the Condition of love. But love is not a 'doing' so much as we are its instrument.
In this, truth realized, is not merely freedom from fear - but freedom to be love.


Dramatis personae

Conflict can offer a drama that we can feel impelled to watch - take a side - switch allegiances - in page turning fascination to see the turns and twists of the plot.
While it is seen as ‘between others’ it can be engaged as a gladiatorial tv show, or a ‘reality tv soap’ upon which we may ‘enjoy’ exercising our opinions of the contenders and their merits and demerits. A ringside seat with only the frisson of a virtual engagement through the proxy players - enacting and re-enacting the endless scripts of jockeying positions within malcontent. Such intent attention feeds the arena with roles that tend to compel the other into acting out the fantasy.

But consider this ... the dramatic roles are assigned within one mind in split mode and do not have independent reality. No victimiser can exist an instant but a victim must cry foul. None can be unfairly treated if love’s inclusion remains extended.

Bad behaviour is simply the inevitable expression of split mind thinking.
The behaviour itself may be controlled - but this is not itself healing.

Conflict arises from the imposition of good-bad judgements. Good-bad is unknown to the mind of God. In God is none such judgement in personal terms. Absolute-ly not.
Yet once asserted, good-bad mind splits that which we call good - the aspects of life we may attempt to grasp, with that we call bad - the aspects of life we tend to recoil from or push away.

In vain illusion that such a conflict can succeed - we pull and push at all things as if we were a ‘self’ that exists separately from the polarities of all that we meet. As if only the ‘good bits’ that conform to my private specification for life are to prevail - and the bad bits are to disappear - fade from sight - or be overcome. Enormous effort is expended - great force applied - great attachments made - in sheer folly.

Absence of the conflictedness of ‘split mind’ comes from neglecting to energise and identify our current perception. For a disconnected perception is our wish and judgement made tangible upon the experience of a polarized sense of being.

Being ... of itself, is not polarised into good and bad, it simply is as it is.
It needs no champion - but loves your mind as its Own - regardless of thoughts that are entertained. Your Being never leaves you.
The remembrance and desire for such Grounding Love arises in the heart that is stirring within the dream, and from this comes willingness and promptings to open to a fresh perception - a joined or connected perception. Out of a wholly present relationship embraced.

The mind of good-bad is exchanged, step by step, for the mind of true-false, whose determinations are not made by self-engaged thinking - or even according to inspired teachings - but is accepted as outcome of the experience and willingness of opening within. Even as a wave-surfer accepts the dynamic flow of balance that embraces all polarity in riding the wave in a single relationship.

True-false mind simply can not be wielded as shield or sword or invisibility cloak. It is the surrender of the mind of defended self interest into a greater trust that speaks the heart of a single un-split relationship. It cannot be rendered into words or teachings, it cannot be owned by religion - nor can it be attacked, defiled or coerced. It is our own Right Mind - our Holy Spirit. The link of God-truth to a wandering attention, lost to its own self fascinations.

Else-where and else-when may seem yet to be our flowing now - while perception plays out. Yet as we ask and receive we find in this very instant the Light that restores the Ground of the heart to a mind that forgets - and forgets again! But we give thanks for that we are, that anything is, and that all is as it is.

Letting our split-mind lose appeal is letting our true mind be - and be through us. There never can be an outcome that settles all into tidy satisfactions, but the habit of self-competition settles as an old toy no longer employed.

“In my end is my beginning” *

In Peace


At that moment the Prophet felt his mind enraptured and taken away to be replaced with an astonishing secret. He was placed in the Fields of God's Eternity and Endlessness. In the first he found no beginning and in the second he found no end. Then God revealed to Him: "My end is in My beginning and My beginning is in My end." Then the Prophet knew that all doors were absolutely closed except those that led to God, that God cannot be described within the confine of a place in speech, and that God encompasses the everywhere of all places. This is a secret that no tongue can be stirred to express, no door opened to reveal, and no answer can define. He is the Guide to Himself and the Lord of His own description. He is the Beauty of all beauty and the speech by which to describe Himself belongs to Him alone.

Excerpt found at:


To arrive at the beginning

Joy when evident - is much appreciated.
May an increasing sense of innate safety continue to dislocate the over-busy mentality of defence.

I know in myself that once a defence program is activated, all events are interpreted in terms of threat, ally or irrelevance - to a 'self definition'
that is reinforced by the program itself.

I have a sense that a conflict based mentality runs in emulation within a larger unconflicted awareness. Like TV it can become a loop of attention and distraction that feeds upon itself but is ultimately unfulfilling.

Joy is fulfilment but tends to be interpreted in terms of the self-defining program running as conditional to the outer circumstance - ie sharing life and dancing and singing.

I have a sense that there is innate joy just in being temporarily free of the self-limiting mindset - so I watch the activity of mind and identify patterns that express outmoded or ineffectual force and allow them to be replaced with the original or underlying harmonic patterning - that was eclipsed while the program was actively engaged.

Such calming restores perspective to non-local awareness - simply being - which can then express as freshly relevant local intelligence.

It could appear that long standing deeply held habits of mind and behaviour are unchangeable. But that is not more than a thought which can be observed, accepted or questioned.

I observe that the mind runs faster than anything I could imagine and that attention can be engaged and mesmerised by processes of thought.
However this doesn't change what the nature of mind is - only the activity of attention within it.

When driving my car, I tend to relax at a speed that is without haste and enjoy the moment I am in. This feels like a sort of timeless edgeless flow - because it is not incessantly engaged in past or future concerns.
I occasionally notice drivers overtaking and stressing to overtake - cursing or suffering frustration and friction in an ongoing drama of conflicted outcomes along with a sense of self importance that blinds them to appreciation of life all around them. I know from past experience that when I drive like that, it dislocates me such that it takes quite a while after physical arrival - to 'catch up with myself', reintegrate or re-orientate.

Journeying is the same, but the experiences of each mode of travel are very different. One is fulfilling a rested and free attention, the other is obsessed with unquestioned thoughts that are unconsciously programming a polarised addictive experience.

How to contact the mind that is intent on drama and release it to a true or direct relational awareness and appreciation.

(That last sentence posed a question until I saw that it was in fact the heading).


You ... were never born - and never died

"When You awake, You will discover that You were never born and never died" ~ Raj

Your own awareness is already light - your very heart is already the seat of all meaning.

The proofs of unawakened self are merely the assertion of you as you are not.

While you are 'in character' I may not get a message through.

While you are on a role - I cant get a word in edgeways!

But "Remember Home" is a present remembrance and not of the past.

Though before time was - Home Is.

There is nothing to understand here - this is a dawning of realization that the world is not your truth - and from this comes the willingness to let it be used on behalf of truth's realization of itself - as it is.
- - -

Idea based sense of self is not going to wake up and nor is it ever going to have an understanding of what awakening is. But you may the play with and try-out of any ideas about it as part of an ongoing fascination.

In our thinking we may postulate all sorts of questions and look within all that we have ever imagined or experienced for possible answers.

That you are not what you think you are, is not to say: you are not!

But the you that is - as it were - revealed - by the disregard of the meanings of images and concepts that are associated as your sense of 'you in form' - is direct experience. It may be afterwards portrayed as experience happening to you but- at the point of knowing - there is no such separation of knower and known.

- - -

The dimension of unawakeness is a like as a surface perspective gotten from a surface of no depth upon an infinite sphere.

As the surface is disregarded - depth arises - as awareness knowing its own nature.

The Depth is not - can not - really be absent - but has been rendered as if invisible by a timeline that stretches as if unbroken from past to future. An identification with a self made limitation that remains your intent of attention - set in motion by desire. You know not what you do.

Yet the arising of Awareness is not the beginning of awareness but rather the falling off of a temporary engagement of attention within which identification occurred. It is the abandonment of the proofs ‘you are not awake’ - within a Living Context of Relationship.

It is ‘awakening’ relative to bondage of illusion - but Truth is already true.

The desire for experience on your own terms has become confused with you as ‘a life’. This is a story you may tell to yourself - but is not you.

Truth is not the annihilation or destruction of you. For the ground of awareness does not come and go when attention becomes bound to consciousness arising with its objects.

You may be looking to survive in time - yet none truly lives in time - All life is of One Eternal Instant. Yet the illusion of time need not be attacked or destroyed for now to be experienced in its own terms. Illusions can only be dispelled by noticing their nature as illusions. Such is the gift of truth - its giving is that it is in no way withheld.

Life in concept is a way of making a personal sense of continuity-consciousness that acts as a limited identity.

All sorts of experiences seem to come and go yet all of then share a common father - which is the wish you be as you are not - and the wish to experience such thought as a creation. For this you must forget to laugh, believe you have lost Light and protect your thoughts in the darkness from misperceived light. The judge finds itself judged - until the act is realised meaningless.

- - -

Everything Spirit is offering you is serving you coming to the point of awakening again and again and yet again.

This will often be below the radar of your own assessments - it initiates change in the ground of your sense of self that is also a releasing or loosening of old habits of belief and reaction.

To open the mind without the heart is but a further example of an ego alien adventure.

The view may be relatively expansive but the fundamental illusion of polarized reality remains the starting point.

The heart is the context in which the mind becomes safe - to itself.

Its Nature is perfectly relational. Yet nothing comes in from or goes ‘outside’.

The desecration of the heart to the mind in darkness is an intolerable suffering.
But this is the recognition of the need to accept healing - now.
Truth answers its own and you cannot be a total illusion - only given to illusion.
There are no terms on earth for that which is eternal - yet the eternal can be reflected here as you release your attention to a desire for a wholly present revelation.

Not born - never died - is as the eternal - timeless Father - and nothing is but is Son.
Son is of like kind in all respects except Son is the Expression of Father. Beyond compass - yet is perfect Compassion.
Feel for the taste in all that aleady speaks of joy - and open to the feeling against the suggestion of all that seems to demand the abandonment of joy.
Whenever you remember this is the feeling that identifies you in undefined and unwithheld presence


Synchronicity and the Parking Angel

Singularity of desire is held for us in trust while we engage attention and identity in false or conflicting desire.
It can be accessed in any moment of true willingness or trust that may note a felt desire and then surrender it to the outcome that aligns with Highest Good. Singularity of desire is impossible to ‘use’ coercively – for it is the living expression of One.

I have a handicapped daughter – Emily now quite grown up – and she was staying when we had a rare very hot sunny day on August Bank Holiday - (UK has had two almost non-summers in a row by the way). I actually found her willing to come to the beach with me and set off a mere mile or so. (At that time she couldn't walk very far at all). But the mile or so was a crawl of cars to the point – where our beach is. They were also crawling to come back down this spur of a road but probably because they had failed to find a parking place at the car park at the end – and come back again.

Sitting in a stiflingly hot car at a slow crawl with many stops – my time with her was running out before I had to take her back. And the inspiration to swim together felt fragile amidst the 'evidence'.

But there wasn't any ‘going back’ - so come what may, I gradually drove along – nose to tail – to the car park. But I kept my desire and my heart open in a present appreciation. I also realized that I would be willing to park illegally and pay whatever penalty in order to share that morning on the beach with Emily - but I did not let that thought make me wilful or reactive - it was just a sense of value recognised.

As I got to finally turn into the car park I saw there was indeed a queue all through all of its lanes and out again. (I don't usually venture into such places at peak holiday times because this sort of thing is what many end up doing with their family on a beautiful day – queuing!).

But to the right as if invisible to the other drivers ahead and around – was a legitimate place – admittedly part on a kerb – but every other possible plot legal and not legal - was covered in cars! So I just drove calmly in and we had a really wonderful swim and sunbathe together.

I did not ‘create’ the movement of this desire – but it came to me with an inspiration – which I stayed alive with despite thoughts that were quite justifiable in terms of the then ‘known universe’.

Any attempt to create such desire in reaction to any sense of scarcity, lack or problem is likely to muddy the water and feed the problem from which it originated. Yet a disposition of happiness and willingness is often open to little prompts that are - in a sense – from the More of You to help grow the appreciation of You as You Are.

Because we identify self with body to such a degree – it is hard to realise that You Are one with relatedness itself – temporarily expressing through a mind that has limited itself by using unrelated thoughts and becoming identified with the experiences they bring.

When miracles do not occur as part of our day – should we not pause and consider that we have lost touch with our willingness – and then uncover our desire to find it?

Life is already the Miracle of Love – it is the release of the (identifications with) fear by which the singularity of love is remembered.

But let desire be your guide and discern truly – so that you can grow to trust yourself not to play mindgames at the level of your integrity.

in Love's blessing


Secret or Esoteric Knowledge

One of the reasons that spirit knowledge has been and often is hidden or secret among those who come to awaken is because its realisation is hidden or secret from the ego.

Because ego identity = collusion to be secret and hidden from God-Awareness-Love.
= refusal to look within.
For to look within = to see only the Christ.
All the hate-fear-guilt-shite is the barrier to looking within that is designed to be effective in protecting ego from truth’s awareness arising in ... you.

Such a distorted orientation sees not the love – but only fearful heresy.
Such a mentality sees not innate innocence – but sin and guilt.
Such a mentality sees not – but is fascinated by its own denied thoughts and intentions.
And ‘loves’ to hate them.
And is ‘exonerated’ by their 'destruction' or excommunication.
And has ‘peace’ that evil is allayed and held without.

Thus Jesus, love incarnate, truths expression - was killed.
In belief of his death some came to accept this, seeing only validation of the old mind in fear and judgement.
For they yet worship death as giver of meaning, with power even over life.
Because the symbol of the killed love serves their desire for divine favour in ‘obedience’ to ‘Scripture’ where they can hate, fear or deny in 'righteousness'.

But love is not dead.
Indeed is your only Life.
'He' shows you where to look.
Why tarry with the dead?
Here is a feast that grows by its sharing.

If some hold that God created them separate like a clay figure and blew life into it – then anything that undermines that symbol of separation may be seen heretical – demonic – fearful and hated.
Therefore it may be both unwise and uncompassionate to suggest to them directly:

That Gods Gift is our life – and never leaves God to become fenced off around a separated will
by the continuance of the desire to exert such a will – and then
– ONLY –
to the mind that thus chooses to engage the wish.

But should any come to you and are shown by promptings and signs to be willing – then let flow as Spirit directs. This may be to speak entirely in pottery terms! - that isn't important – but the sharing and acceptance of love is important.

Let people believe as they choose – but in peace with them be willing to teach from the Spirit awake in you – as you are moved.

You know you are moved by Spirit when you are shown your brothers and sisters in Spirit. For unless you see their worth – how can you give them what they have denied themselves? For such is the way of salvation from self-made self-apart.

The desire to teach according to yourself with or without scripture is an old desire and it is as tares among the wheat.
Beware the desire to judge yourself or you will judge all and know them not nor the life in you.
Reach beyond the way you know, in humility and yet in faith of One wholly worthy of faith.

Watch with Me, as we together walk, from shadows into Light.
Forgive yourself for sleep, though again and yet again – for sleep is the nature of the world unawakened.
The past is gone as you release it – and the self you let Me grow in you through your giving is of eternal being.

So Be it.

In Peace



The oneness of you

Spiritual teachings and exponents of teachings may speak of awakening into oneness.

The mind that thinks it thinks, takes such communication as self-thoughts or concepts and tries to imagine how they can be true - or how they will be realized in another moment than this. In such attempt, the mind is thinking in its own terms, which are terms that derive from a description of ignorance of oneness.

In order to allow into the mind, the experience of its oneness, there must be the realisation and observation that the thoughts on which it builds its sense of self are meaningless. For the seeming density and continuity of thinking generates a false experience of self to itself that is groundless, without cause, and without actual or direct relationship and connection.

The thinking based experience is shallow yet can depict any and every kind of drama by which it becomes compulsive and necessary to the actor who is set up within its script as the 'self' to which the experience is occurring. While this is accepted as currency worthy of attention, identification and desire, it continues.

Regardless of such activity of compulsion, the living context of all remains unaffected by any thought or experience. This living context is awareness and it is you.

To yourself in self-thinking, this can be neither understood or accepted, but you are not as you think you are and you can recognise and accept yourself as you are because you cannot wholly break connection with your truth.

In engaging thought based experience, it is _as if_ you take a journey away from yourself into an imagination that has itself made you. The result is that instead of resting as inclusive awareness whose peace is the light of being itself, you experience as if a limited mind within materiality of otherness.

This imaginary mind is predicated on differentiation in order to preserve itself as the thinker or determiner of reality. For such is the activity of following thought in order to experience the thought as tangibility.

Experiencing such thought based reality is limitation. It can be engaged only at expense of current appreciation of oneness by an ignorance - a willingness to look from out of an imagined but self-determined perspective.

Such limitation is inherently dissonant. It carries a pervasive pain of incompleteness - an out of centre or misalignment that would naturally remind you to release such a private intent and be restored to truth in which all is appreciated as it is. But if persisting in thought unnatural to truth, the same dissonance can be interpreted as oppositional conflict and guilt.

By such imaginary means can a mind experience itself as identified with ideas that separate or differentiate from truth itself - and suffer its own beliefs as unquestioned experiences to which it is essentially victim.

When you choose not to believe your own makings, you will have stirred, and the releasing occurs by which one truth rises in place of conflicting wills and realities.

Instead of using the mind of judgement which selects, compares and rejects, there is the resting in the awareness of the exactly discerned.

In such vision, the foggy soup of impressions, likenesses and differences is released of authority and in its place the shining awareness of a wholly present appreciation restates truth to you as you. You need not claim it or name it as you - but your acceptance is your wholeness of embrace and receipt. In this will you be one with the experience itself and not a ‘getter’ of a packaged experienced as anything fundamentally separated from you. Nor does it define or limit you.

The journey into illusion is one of following a wish-thought and becoming enamoured of its reflections as if it were your life. But you are simply sleeping to the reflected glory of one truth whose nature is without conflict and whose attributes are never separated from you or from each other.

The awakening is as a gentle teasing out of the knotted mentality of judgement and conflict into a willingness for light or awareness in which acceptance replaces rejection.

Every step or moment of willingness contains and expresses love of truth and truth of love, the peace of joy and the joy of freedom to feel.

Yet only within the limits of your acceptance can love be recognised and allowed its shared nature. Thus truth may seem a while to partake of the nature of your world in illusion in order to reach you and lead you from illusion to you

This is to bring you to the realisation that you have been mistaken in yourself and therefore are in need of truth above all else.

Having taken on a part in a script of your own making it is now your part to release and give over your part to the expression of that which speaks for you as you are and not as your thinking believes.

The recognition of the path you no longer desire to take is the reaching of you to you - through the veil.

It is Grace because it is already true, its acceptance is your acceptance of you as you are - in all events, circumstances and relationships.

Only the Grace of the truth of you can serve to guide you from self illusion.

What form this takes is for you to discover - though it is not ultimately the form that matters. Reading examples may console and encourage, but they will be used by the form bound mind to make ever more subtle judgements by which to validate self-illusion as replacement for you.

It is Given for you to know the truth.


The Now - the Flow - Guiding Intelligence

When thoughts and images associated with past and future are not invited or used to impose meanings upon the now, the experience becomes more self aware - as a flowing of parts within a whole.

We 'come from' or are the Flow of now and yet we are mentally programmed to run as if we come from yesterday.

Separation from the now is like 'separation from God' - in that one can be distracted from awareness That Now Is and believe and act as if now were not here - but one cannot actually make it so.

Likewise our being arises in and expresses the All-ness of God but we are humanly programmed to run as if we are somehow arising inside a physicality that itself expresses a loveless mechanism.

Our minds have wandered into miscreation such as to be blocked with making the self image and its story the centre of attention. Yet our Spirit calls us Present from within us and yet beyond the scope of our concepts and definitions. This is already happening and can be noticed and joined with. Which is becoming present as feeling awareness rather than defining a past present and future from an imagined mental objectivity.

The climbing example in the last post is a simple example of where the 'need to know' - held as desire - without letting fear or carelessness intrude - invites the Intelligence of the Guide to work through.

We may not be able to investigate such events when they are happening because it is an act of 'getting out the way'. Yet in such a 'flowing now' we are aware of feeling for the routes or the words or the steps to take - and do feel for a channel or equilibrium of mind such that the signal is not lost! - Because it Is our desire in action.

Oneness and the 'work' of willingness

In ideas about oneness I may blind myself by thinking I am am listening to the Holy Spirit (guide for truth).

In the oneness all things are in and of the whole because they are accepted prior to being judged through the mask or veil of a self.
Apparent polarities can here be embraced as part of oneness and a path is given or arises that is of the oneness with regard to all that it is.

I am / you are - already the language of oneness in the actual willingness to be its expression.
Love requires few words or none to offer recognition, appreciation and acknowledgement to its own.

Climbing a steep place - the mind holds focus exactly on each step and doesn't imagine in front of behind the now.
In every instant, 'feeling the route' as it appears out of the terrain.
We call it ‘intense’ when we are required to pay consistent attention for we have identification with thinking that likes to 'stay in' and ‘think about’ rather than actually immersively participate in relationship. But this is because we have not become altogether without the urge to control and define.
It is the attempted management of outcomes that introduces strain and debilitates.

At times it takes great effort to resist the force of temptation to ‘be out from’ the desire to follow thoughts of the old self habit – yet the ‘effort’ is that of keeping a channel of willingness and receptivity open despite a current of a habitual reaction to which – as a second nature - we have become accustomed to exerting.
An enormous effort and an amazing feat – to keep hidden the truth from my own knowing!

The addictions of man are subsets to the addiction of lost Self (God our very Light, Life and Source). We seek every and any thing as our wholeness – salvation – sustenance - fulfilment – and have become lost among the many fragments and apparent levels of experience. It runs mechanically from its starting premise.

Yet the Light is not lost and is with you through the feelings of peace that you know but cannot understand in terms of your world and the self that seems to be in it.
Yet while your own understanding and judgement is your god to you – you will not accept it – nor follow its direction.

And when you do accept that there must be a better way and give willingness to find it – you will still be carrying the habit of fighting and defending against truth dawning in you of itself – until it is recognised and laid aside.

So there is the ‘work’ :

• Ceasing to disown the habit - by which endarkenment is maintained.
• Allowing the undoing of this by noticing but not following it suggestions.
• Actively welcoming and cultivating the enjoyment and appreciation of life in the heart – without introducing or following possessive mind.
• Growing in the capacity of trust as the essential touchstone and ground of all that you are – such that life works through you, by your freely given invitation and welcome extended to all – as life itself directs – without making a ‘self’ of such apparent accomplishments. But according or accepting all praise and Glory to God-One – God in all Creation.

Work is the 'curse of Adam' – after he ate the fruit of judgement.
For what is given freely – in love – in service and recognition of all honour and worth – can not be work in the sense of ‘irk’ – though by our human evaluations we are often tempted to intervene with ‘our story’ - where we try to tell God what reality is rather than let God heal our perceptions.

There are times and seasons in which all things seem to have their moment: doing little or doing a lot – keeping tidy or trusting amidst the apparently chaotic – retreating without rancour or advancing to give witness.

So how do we know how to relate?
It is given us to know.
As a function of all That we are.

How did I lose trust in my own knowing?
By believing my own un-forgiveness.

In Peace



Darwin's theory has to give way

A friend was alarmed at an atheistic slogan near where he lived. His dismay prompted this response:

To rest in God is our protection from need of any help against bogeymen.
The Spirit works in all ways with all things.
I cant always see this, but our (innate) Holy Spirit sees for all of us – including me – and Darwin too. He is more than an ape – and so is an ape!

Is it not enough to accept our own path and meet others with a welcome and willingness to listen?
There is much in religion that has perpetrated lovelesness; brother upon brother and upon the world.

Some find a way that arrives at the Loving by other routes than religion.

Much of the heart’s way is grown in secret – within – and touches the hearts of others without fanfare and bluster and show.
Who are we to say we can judge another ?

As for ideological wars...
Wherever there seems to be a Tweedledee and Tweedledum – there is an agreement to quarrel.

The mind of mechanism is only an evil when made into a god.
Then it becomes like unto a devil - but only while we fight it.

Looking at mechanisms as to how things appear to work is something that the mind can engage in.
It seemed to promise a new dawn but increasingly leads man into a maze of meaninglessness. Because of it’s starting point.
Nothing can become other to its starting point.

But I trust Holy Spirit will use the ‘scientific mind and its symbols’ for awakening as we allow and accept and trust Holy Spirit into our mind.

Mechanisms can be seen, in partial glimpses, that seem to offer strong evidence in support of a machine universe that reflects the mechanical mind that initiates the search.

But whatever we are engaged in can become a structure by which we awaken self awareness.

Darwin abhorred human slavery and was strongly motivated to show men were of one family.
The scientific map is showing an interconnectedness of all things – but as if observable from outside the One.
This is where theory has to give way to Divine Experience.

In Peace


“You kept me from believing... until you let me know”
Leonard Cohen


The mind can linger

The heart’s notice is a natural touch – and can see the form – yet sees through the form.

In recognising it’s own light as one in all is a rapture.

From the heart’s noticing and dwelling in such reflected glory can the mind grasp as if it is independent and can possess.

By such unrecognized habit of association - the mind can easily linger past its ‘sell by date’ of love’s recognition; a joy; an insight - or whatever is the nature of communion expressed.

In identifying with the grasping through attention of desire, the mind suggests or insinuates a sense of lack. And while it is maintained - is identification held within limitation.

God is Always now – but we can be still holding the forms or traces or echoes of ‘was’ - as if it were a handle on truth; a map of or gift from the IS to validate our attention in applied will – and give it priority. and so we forget the Source and Condition of Life by mind play.

Yet the mind can only linger in the thought-form – as symbol – an image of life that might seem wondrous – but depletes as it is exploited and becomes the hollow witness to the mind of guilt – where we can have a sense of having cut ourselves off - or of being cut off from Light of Being: Love’s Innocence.

All of my thoughts are such bits of ‘past’ - they are all empty of the Living One.
Yet in opening my mind to Holy Spirit in love of truth that is Life – my thoughts can be used for the purpose of awakening, healing and joining in a mind that has forgot.

When mind is allowed to be leader – 'I' am always ‘going somewhere’ – ‘becoming something’ – ‘orientated toward a moment that is not actually here’ – even if it seems just past or just about to occur.

When the heart leads – it is the wholeness of the flow working through whatever serves its Movement – and I am always in a sense of living joy or connectedness that just Is. It’s language is everything – and will use our lives as well as our thoughts for the truth of the wellbeing of all – as we allow the channel to be opened and become our very life - in place of grasping for possession.

‘Abide in me as I abide in you’ is the disposition of peace. Extending the open hand of welcome; to hold all in willingness of welcome in my heart and accept the welcome of every heart in any degree or instance of discernment.


Let truth be revealed

Let truth be revealed rather than determined.
Let words tingle our intuitions rather than carve out territories.

Victimizer and victim take turns.
Both act out parts that reflect a mind in judgement.

All things can only serve the desire active in our heart and mind – they cannot dictate it.
If we discover we have given such power to conditions then it is ours to reclaim by allowing power to be shared rather than wielded.

Aligning with truth to let truth be my mind’s Master.
Show to me - such love of truth – that is in me as the truth of love.

I release my own attempts to decide reality and accept one will for me in peace.

I inadvertently choose

I inadvertently choose to experience as if separately every time I allow the mind to wander in loveless paths.

I become lost to my own heart’s light in my preoccupation with a will by which darkness seems to obscure light.

Loveless paths are only a way of thinking that isn't true – there is not such a path nor one compelled to walk it, only a currency of exchange that is created by what I give and receive.

But lovelessness cannot be received in truth for there is none in Truth.

What then is the stranger that seems to intrude upon our hope of peace? What then the pass by which we come to the end of our capacity to prevail?

It is the touch and whisper of love yet veiled by the veil of distortion – for the awakening of the heart of you to your light.

Yet to the will that lives in the dark must it seem the stripping away of all that it believes gives it strength and safety.

To be amidst the world and release its value from your grasp so that the heart is freed from the conclusions and definitions of the mind is to lay aside thought and listen anew.

What is here at first may be seen only as the absence of what I have become accustomed to – and such a void can be prone to fearful thought.

Yet even as eyes become attuned to a sudden change after a period of adjustment – so too to the discernments of light return to the mind that releases darkness.

The companionship of light is not other to what I am – and yet is not mine to control.
I am not mine to control.
Very God is not for God to control.

Following a thought to know all by myself – brought me to be as if myself alone.

To know I am not alone restores me to love’s knowing – always given and received in perfect trust.

The refusal of the experience of aloneness is the direct embrace of uncensored experience now.
Before judgement comes into play.

Only thus will the gift of love flow through the laying aside of my story.
By the reception of this gift will I recognise, beyond doubt, that I have received as has been given through me. In gratitude and love will the Source of love be known by love – as love - in love. When all things are spoken thus – I must be silent.


Surrender thought and listen now

The willingness to surrender thought and listen now – is surely within us – or we would not meet here.
(Or indeed really meet anything directly but our own thinking).

I can sometime feel this as the truth floating of itself to its own awareness.

Like as if all the stuff that seems to keep truth denied has to work against the natural buoyancy of the heart.

Miracles are the unselfconscious expression of a conscious willingness.
I haven't felt that I need or should become anything – for that seems to be the idea that made suffering.
So I release as I feel able and willing – which is to say as awakeness offers to my acceptance.

The false cannot be a foundation or a real cause so I don't have to do anything about it - but the desire to see it as my own cause or foundation and proceed to identify all things accordingly, is the sticky point where I will follow the guidance of the false.

But if I try to force myself to surrender I will feel deprived, so, in some ways I feel to be consciously tolerant of that I yet choose to act in story rather than truth. The consciousness is the level of willingness freely available and gives a very different experience than becoming eaten by illusion.

Allowing unjudgemental awareness into the arenas of resistance is a release of Thou Shalt Not! - yet is in some way holding relationship with spirit in a way that reminds me of Joni Mitchell singing – Will you take me as I am?”. Ego loves this sort of thinking as it can feel ‘allowed’ to indulge – but that isn't what I am saying – for the context that makes the difference is the desire and willingness to grow in self trust.

Meeting the self-death in all sorts of ways – is meeting and embracing all the places in me where I would give up – run – hide – go insane – fail – die. The unforgivable or intolerable.

They don't need to be dramatized – for drama is a way to keep from letting peace be. But they are like the coastline where I end and the unknown begins. The threshold where the Eternal wakens to itself as the 'more of me' than what I thought to be.

The self-death is story. Without my story I am in cold turkey – in bleaker street – in desert of abandonment. But this is of the initial illusion of loss that I believed real and sought to protect against – and thus made real to my own mind. It gets re-enacted over and over but also gets hidden so as to not be recognisable.

So comes the time when I’m done with the desire to come from this place of self protection – even though the habit is sometimes strong. There’s a different call in my mind and there’s a different response.

I thought today about things I do which have no justifications or basis in the mind that measures – and how part of my work is to keep alive the path by which I can enjoy the freedom of giving – and not let the measuring mind undermine it.

And then I thought ‘what becomes of it?’ and immediately felt that the capacity to be in the joy of freely giving is growing in me and this is what I teach myself and any I meet in the giving. If they find joy then they will be drawn likewise – even if at first they seem blind to the light and only grasp at forms.

The belief that there is something I have to do or undo in the future – in some other moment is a distraction from enjoying the Holy Spirit light in all things now.