Who Awakens?

There are these programs running in the mind of thought that seem to suggest you are  this or that or the other - and suggest that there is a need to be involved in all of that.

The one that 'wakes up' - never really slept, orphaned itself - or went away.
Now where does that leave you?
Are you with me?

It starts as a letting in and being with. It grows.
Comes a time you cease to identify primarily or exclusively with a mind in story - and the light  - of itself - moves.
It was already moving.

To ONLY move with the movement is to release the fantastic notion that you can move against it.
But fantasy seems as real as the desire for it determines.

So its true - you cant just decide differently as if it were your intent and your will that is going to do or be the be-ing.
You cant in a sense - decide anything on such a basis - except to remain in illusion.
To be still, to ask, to listen, to trust - is to discover the movement of life.
This speaks your true will - as the will for all. Life is not a conflict of selves -  but a unified self expression extends from the willingness to behold Life as it truly is.

What this mostly means is: shut up and listen.
really listen - dont analyze or filter or interpret - but be truly with - and receptive of.
Trust the movement of awakened awareness and let it speak your self by sharing it.
In the sharing of the gift - is truth restored to awareness.
For none are excluded.

To the ego self sense - this is a bleak prospect - and will at times feel like deep loss.
Whenever this sense is accepted again - the separation is reenacted.
You get to watch it.
Over and over - and over again.
But only if you stay curious enough to look - when all the symptoms of separateness and loss shout as if they know your name.
Who or what is curious enough to look at such a pass?
You are that curiosity and willingness itself.
Seemingly tied up in thought.
What's that about!?

Struggling with myself? - No!
It's just thinking!

'Love thine Enemy' is a call to awaken - not a more sophisticated means of dealing with conflict.
'I have resistance to that' - Ah! here is a call to be more genuinely curious.

Generally, I have noticed, that when I can simply no longer afford, to give energy and attention, to maintain a sense of myself, as in some way opposed or conflicted or special, then it just falls off, with no method or technique or process involved.

in peace



If even a trace of guilt is given welcome - or assumed real of me - then I (must) look out on a world that limits and see the taint of sin in whatever I write or whatever I read. For such is the effect of using the lens of judgement instead of listening in the heart.

Because this is so paralysing and obstructive of life's creative flow and function, the I-sense exerts itself in any and every attempt to mitigate and offset pain of guilt by glossing over with denial and engaging distraction - so as to play the game of life amidst a condition which seemingly opposes life.

To at least to snatch the crumbs of life in fleeting moments from the awfulness of a mean and hateful mind that the I-sense is seeking to escape, overcome or improve - but not let go.

All the force of such attempt wears 'me out' and blocks even further, the grace of the true function of life of which I have lost any direct sense due to becoming so entangled in my own thoughts made flesh.

(Hmmmmmmmmmm.... that's not what I thought I was going to write ;-)

Words have been used as the extension of definition. As if definition determines truth. But it is the movement of desire or intent that would fix or freeze life - by grasping or possession. The very concept of possession at the level of mind is a nonsense excepting that to have is to be. But once a sense of self in image and thought is accepted as if it were in fact Me - then through that self-thought can I seem to add things to myself or have them taken away.

At that level of illusion - when first embracing what seems to be the possibillities and potentialities of orphanhood (seperate self-becominghood) there is a sense of being as a god in divine play. Dressing up in the mirror and enjoying the imaginative 'life' that extends from the image in this light - or in that light.

How does a narcissistic game of no consequence become the terrible affliction of guilt?

Well it never truly can - excepting - while persisting to look in the mirror and 'enjoy' the imaginative 'life' that extends from the image in this light - or in that light.

These words are offered in attempt to sketch out so that the act can be seen for what it is. Not an act of play within the mirror - but an act of desiring to see and maintain oneself in image and story.

For while such desire is active and unseen, attention is limited to or distorted by the images in the mirror. These definitions that, in one way or another, give witness to the existence of a 'me' as a separately existing personality in a body -  rather than as the direct expression of Life's Movement to know Itself through its extension.

There is a turnabout that arises spontaneously from the seeing of self illusion just as it is.
It may experienced as pure Grace. The uncovering of Divinity - of the only Life.
This out of time awakening is not allowed while attention and desire are actively engaged in reaction - as something to possess or rid oneself of.
But it can rise through the willingness to see such a script for what it is - while it is in play - and always undoes it of an environment in which to seem to be.

When Hercules had to clean out the shit from the stables - he opened a way that the divine river flowed through them. At first - if one had stopped to report - one could have said that - worse than shit - was a river of shit. And that is why it is unwise to use externals a progress report. For fear has to be released to the flow and function of life - of a divine flow that Is - otherwise it remains a point of reference from which one says stop! and belives one is the power to limit life.

Allowing the flow is growing a relationship with the truth in you that knows the flow - AND also knows the exact nature of the entanglement by which attention has become trapped within self definition and made real to itself.

Under self direction, I cannot actually know true function - though I may think I do when things go my way. But that is a house of cards. In not using self direction, a deeper knowing guides all. How do I know I am not deluding myself?

This is in some sense irrelevant to the act of awakened willingness - because in the flow - in the trust - in the light of allowing - even the scripts of self delusion become useful to the re-awakening of being to its wholeness - instead of serving as ammunition for the prosecution or damning evidence to the judge.

When resistance is felt - stuck - paralysis - fear - there is still flow. There is always flow, for life is Life.

To let into flow is to be with what is - as it is - and not as it is defined and not from a desire or presumption of a power to define it.

An unjudgemental atmospheric is absolutely essential to knowing and sharing life as Life.

Words and concepts have a long history of squelching the feeling being - because that has been the intent behind them.

Put this behind you - and release the forms associated with it - and let them find new life in a dance that speaks of your freedom to be - all that you are.

The dream of a life calls from without and keeps you focussed on the outer.

The Life that is your Intimate truth Moves from within and calls you awake as being-within-the-Movement.

If you are still holding onto the words - as if there is something that must be understood BEFORE trust is extended and fear released, then I ask you - What can possibly be understood from a mind already made up or fixed on its own thought?

The fixation of the mind on God is not the work of the human will, but is the grace of the desire of love to be all that it is and know all that it is, in all that it is.


Love and pretence

Love - in its truth - is prior to the activity of interpretation that the mind overlays - or intervenes with. This is to say it is deeper and closer to you than you are to your self in thought or imagination.
A tangible intimacy that is not merely thinking or emotional history or physical desire, 'touches' or registers in our awareness, and is an integrative or unifying experience of connectedness and communion - with person, place, or indeed with one's sense of experience itself.

Rather than being the result of seeking to 'get' an experience that is presumed desirable - it is the awakening to the felt nature and condition of life or relationship itself.
The mechanical habits of a mind that sees itself as having special and separative interests may only be suspended an instant before the glimpse is effectively cut off with doubting thought, emotional vacillation - and all the characteristics of the thinking based identity that sees a need for control as its protection and necessity - and trust as something to bargain with.

The desire to possess experience 'for oneself' is a fundamental human error.  It grew from a curiosity of capacities of thought, but by itself it is essentially a private experience that can not truly satisfy - for it's 'love' is conditional and turns to betrayal, hate or loss - the instant that conditions are no longer perceived as providing justification for love. Such a love cannot be trusted. Such human love is always ambivalent there is no peace it it - because of what lies underneath its seeming.

Our concept of love is likely to be coloured by the fantasies and demands for external events or persons who fill or provide the experience of what we believe we lack; meaning, protection, adventure, importance, validity, acceptability, purpose and etc. As long as we accept and cultivate a sense of ourselves as lacking or unwhole in our essential being, we are bound to seek without for the 'answer' to a sense of life in dilemma - and we can become expert in assuming such an identity and believing it can achieve the promise of life that its seeks, even when any real hope of such an abiding alignment of conditions is eroded leaving a desperate and loveless existence that has yet to be presented as workable and made tolerable by whatever can be brought into play.

Yet what love actually is, is still active but largely unrecognized - even amidst the acting out of a loveless sense of necessity - for its nature is the core or essence or be-ing upon which the drama of the self is played out as if it were as if it presents itself - to itself and others. Love's awakening is a shift from identification with self in story to identity at rest in love. The process of such a shift is both sudden and gradual in that the revelation of what was always true has no degree, yet the acceptance and integration of such truth into a mind that has become identified with its story is itself a step by step process of loosening and releasing of that which is revealed to be both false or unfounded, and destructive - or undermining - to the peace in which awareness can operate directly; as one's essential sanity.

The intelligence of love was not lost in pursuit of loveless goals - but merely hidden while their purpose is actively engaged. As the intent and desire to impose upon reality loosens, the innate intelligence or guidance of love rises - and uses the contents of the mind to guide the mind to discover 'the way Home'. Initially this is inevitably associated with specific and favourable conditions and these are to be embraced with joy - but the mind is led through its willingness to look again on its underlying presumption, belief and intent - in which it has become confused with its own story and 'victim' to its own thought.

To awaken to your own loving is not to be validated in any seeming capacity to love in your own right - but to recognise, accept and welcome the love that Is Moving ... in you - as you - through you - and to you. It is not added to you - yet in acceptance of what is - as it is - are all things shown in a true light.

The condition in which love is unrecognised is one of a desire and identification for opposition or conflict - for in love truly there is none.  Yet there is the clear capacity to see the judgements, definitions, roles and meanings that such a story weaves - exactly as it is - and therefore not enter into or identify with it.
To refuse or not employ the desire to judge reality, releases the filters and distortions of a past made in error - and allows a truly creative present to be itself.

Habits held long and dear do not disappear immediately even if they are realised to be unwanted. Defences developed amidst great fear as a temporary solutions to unbearable experience do not cease to be triggered  - and to trigger the old perspective. But in love's acceptance and embrace it is clear that you are neither victim or victimizer - nor a neutrality arbiting from a presumed fence of un-involvement. The way of love is very different from the way of doing, because the doings that are love's expression arise naturally from a willingness to be still of self and listen, and express a willingness for life that is without coercive intent; of a wellspring shared in common,. For the Source of life is not separated from its expression. Nor are the expressions of life, fragmented parts of a meaningless source.

Love is the condition in which the problem as fear defined it, no longer exists, but has become the opportunity for love to be remembered and therefore expressed or shared.
Our denial of the flow and expression of our innate feeling being - of our Soul - is our true loss. Nothing in this world can substitute for it - but the search for love outside ourselves only re-enacts the basis whereby we suffer the belief we have been deprived and denied by another will than our own.
Yet everything in the world - rightly seen - becomes a means for awakening and restoring sanity - but not on the basis of privately maintained judgements arising within a privately maintained independence from love.
Be still of thinking and extend trust beyond the fences you thought to keep you safe alone.


ACIM What are my creations?

In A Course in Miracles, (ACIM), A book that is a self study course in accepting the creative power of mind and being restored to sanity, Jesus talks of ‘your creations’.
This writing came in answer to one who asked, What are “my creations”.
This writing may not yield to understanding from a conventional thought perspective but may yet spark intuitive sense.

When you remember you are love - you will remember your Father - wherefore? In every truly loving thought you have ever shared.

While you think you are a thinker - you cannot but be confused and are loving your own capcity to think-create privately - that is called specialness. This 'son' does not receive and return our love. But the Sonship of God that is the Light and Love of your very being, extends as it is extended and the extension is living recognition just as you are.

The completion of God is the recognition of the Father in the Son. The radiance in the ray.

In which God knows Him/Her Self through the Movement of Idea we call Creation.

This Fatherhood is shared without exception or limit.

All of this is probably meaningless of misleading to a mind that still recognises only its own specialness in stead of the Allness of God. But Holy Instants recognised and valued begin to give a perspective that cant be put into old wine bottles - and when what Is - is allowed to abide as it Is - the Course takes on a new meaning that could not be seen from an attempt to understand from a conceptual frame of reference.

Creation isn't  really created in the sense of the Potter metaphor - but in the sense of revealing the Eternal to the Eternal. This cannot exclude You.

Consciousness is a complex of focussed attention that arises from within a play within Creation. And Consciousness can create along the lines of its own thought and experience. In this is a mind in a feedback to its own thought and in total freedom to follow its own thought. If it follows  judgement; thought that is based on a thought of opposition or difference - then it can seem to create conflicted experience that reflect and validate a sense of conflicted or split mind. These are called miscreations because they actually occupy the mind with nothing - as if it were something. Of course the mind cannot really be totally engaged and only a part of attention is thus engrossed and identified. To move to the other end or your attention would be to open to the Perspective in which your loving thoughts become unobscured to you instead of hidden by and within confusion.

Your loving thoughts honour You even as You are loving Thought in the Mind of God.

It should be obvious here that I am not referring to our personality or historical sense of self. The eternal cuts through our dreamlife - in the now of awareness - before the interpretive mechanism has grabbed attention.

The restoration of sanity realigns the interpretive faculty such that it serves a purpose of sanity - whereas in miscreation the purpose put sanity on hold whilst following a thought.

The thought that caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep is that of becoming a creator in his own right. Jesus is Adam waking. The Christ is that which never slept - even throughout the appearances of sleep.

So our creations as the Course calls them are not the symbols of life that we made and coveted and wove together in various hierarchies of order and forced relation. And they are certainly not the magic of 'creative' accounting where innumerable complexities can present a set of accounts that seems to mean something but is actually a pack of lies for the intent of a short term private gain.

We have felt the touch of Spirit - and in that touch we have felt the divinity of our Brother or Sister - or world - AND within, yet transcendent of that exact recognition is the apprehension of the Father. Who knows the Son knows the Father.

This is Wholly Living. There is no other or division. There can be nothing said. We ‘shut up’ in awe filled silence to Glory within Glory.

God Speaks All Things and All Things Speak God as well as Recognising and Praising God in Joy and Gratitude.

This is "God is in His Holy Place and All Is Well' - yet for that to be restored to our awareness we have to release our wilfulness and embrace true willingness. Holy instants are but instants because the mind immediately reasserts command and control - and we listen to its voice. But by consistency of willingness the willingness to listen to that voice diminishes and we start to see the mechanism in act.

I don't wish to suggest that there is anything here for any of us to do unjoined.

Only to wake, shift and live from the shared mind. It doesn't need to be any different than your daily life - except You need to become present in it - through it - as it.

I say need to - not because you are forced - but because it is your desire to be restored to wholeness and peace - and in that context there is need to put the gun down and become harmlessly defenceless to the Awareness that is You.

Living out from Mind would add nothing added and have nothing taken away from the Movement known in stillness. “Thy Will be done”.

Living out from presumption of a partitioned mind in a body in a world of bodies - each a person and with personalities that are essentially masks of split minded manipulation and defence, that squelches, covers and distorts the essence of you, the feeling of you , the fragrance of you, the loveliness of you, the perfection of you.

None of the above qualities are special but are true of all for they can only Be shared. And to allow and discover in one is begin to allow to extend to all. You do not have to know how your current perception can be healed and transcended, but you do have to be willing to be healed - and then be congruent to your willingness.

A fundamental trust in yourself is the fruit of your willingness.

You truly are worth it.

With you in love's awakening


Go in peace and fear not

Recently I heard Raj say that what we need is not courage but peace.
For peace is the absence of anxiety.
So in willingness and acceptance of peace I can take this step.
Though the mind seems to see other steps before and other steps to come, I am only actually living this step.  And though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death I will fear no evil - for the Lord is with me.
Instead of being a magical wish, willingness lets this psalm be established fact.

One of the most 'shouted' and clear guidances I have had is - "Dont think!"
Coming from the heart of hearts it was no kind of imposition upon me - but a clear direction to trust.
Its a bit like a situation high up where looking down makes you start to fall - because it is the movement of the desire to fall that then activates the whole shebang of defence.
So just don't 'go there'.

Go in peace and you will know what to say and when or whether to say it - take no thought for yourself and all will be well.

To do so may sometimes induce an extreme purification - but dwell not on the externals.  Attend the Living!

The guiltlessness we need is from the appreciation of our brother and sister WITHOUT our overlay of role and definition.

Any guilt seen in another is the dissonance remaining unrecognized in your own heart and mind - to which the world can now help you recognise truly as serving your call to wake.

To love your 'enemy' is to discover he is your enemy no more.
There is no holier spot on earth than where an ancient hatred becomes a present love.


The desire to remember God | Peace | Presence of Life

When you do notice or become aware of a greater perspective - such as when you realize you had forgotten to be present with God for a period of the day. Stop - Rejoice!

The light is come - or you would not know you had been asleep.

Your welcome for the light is hardly great if you use the occasion to scold or measure yourself.

To not be taken away be the ego is not a superhuman task - but an expression of calm trust.

Humanly contrived miracles may run on time but the train never leaves the station.

Is it not the simple desire of your heart to live truly?

I am sure it is - and in that desire is your call and answer.

The attempt to do too much is a way of justifying our day - our existence - our spiritual validity.

Yet you need do nothing for God to be all that God is - right where you are.

It is a matter of attention - which follows value - which expresses desire.

Now you may well discover, that actually you are more active than you thought in valuing that which covers over, distracts or takes you away from being in the presence of love. This is good news - Rejoice!

Why? Because now you have become more conscious and more honest about what you use your mind for.

It hardly helps when - upon such a discovery, the scripts of self guilt and self judgement are replayed.

To be consiously with yourself without moral controls firing off with the carrot and stick of fear or favour is to violate the garden fence boundary that you can cross BECAUSE you are willing ti exercise trust, cooperation, listening and willingness to be guided.

Now you may not believe you are trustworthy - because you have seen things about your mind that are mean at best and tricks with it.

But your desire is your welcome for One who knows you better than you do - and who also knows how to guide you.

The mind tries to whip the heart into line - using any and every tactic. Yet the heart gives freely all that you desire - but - it gives it to you to share - and not to your mind that would keep for itself.

With desire for God in your heart - what is there but God?

You have to get dressed quick to catch the train. Practice doing this in your peace - without calling on anxiety to spur you. God is moving to catch the train.

You have to take an optimum course through various obstacles. let go of trying to work out the path and let God align all things - and be fully present in every step.

God is dancing through the seeming Obstacles(also God).

You got caught up in difficulty and reaction and are out of sorts - and still have to deal with difficult demands. Surrender now! Forgive yourself unconditionally (This means everyone) and bring willingness to stop in an instant - even if the instant is short. - And deeply and fully remember your desire for truth.

It doesn't matter if it all seems grossly messy and you don't feel at all like you handled it at all well - what matters is that you remembered to stop, drop and listen - and then brought trust into play.

The surface mind is loud and seems to run the show - it certainly seems curiously able to get and keep your attention!

But you are moving by your desire to calm and to trust and notice deeper - from a more spacious and less reactive place.

Now it might happen that you have a miraculous day out of a potentially disastrous day - and didn't think of God once.

How so?

Because the thought of God is not just the words and concepts and symbols - but the rootedness of your attention to the real.

Now within this 'world' others may argue about using the term real - but the Spirit knows what is helpful for the needs of all - in terms of awakening and because you have given willingness, God's Agency can answer through you - when ye thinketh not. What is 'answer through you?' - but an expression of Life, love, shared integrity, harmony and peace. In other words the way life naturally works when we are not willfully active in working against it.

To shift from the "External God Power" concept to the all embracing unbounded Source and true Condition of being is a step by step willingness. When God takes the last step there is not a differentiation of God and self excepting as Jesus states it.

We most of us have great fear of God - and of love. Even if we set course we find ourselves thrown back again and again. Such resistance is not a sin - but arises from an ignorance that needs to be dispelled. This is why allowing conscious awareness of the desire that seems to want distraction or delay or to dally in pleasure or whatever doesn't abide and share in the presence of life - allows the Spirit to reveal to your willingness to notice.

Our obstacles are not just things to overcome - they can also be the misread guidances that we need to stop and take in so as to have an upside down map corrected.

Maybe something useful arises in you when you read this. Useful in the sense of a sudden shift of attention from a sense of dilemna to a current relationship.

I like the word current as it means now and also means flow.

I said once that the secret to making love - is

to already be making love.

In other words, the form of it isn't defined by a beginning and an end or by specific forms at all.

Making love is the ongoing dance and flow of relationship.

If you 'go off' on a thought (or ten thousand), then  as soon as you feel the dissonance - use it to waken.

If you do not go off in thought - but share the light of life and love in your tasks, your play or walking together - then don't interrupt the flow with spiritual thoughts - but just check in with your heart's light if any question should arise. Dissonance is undisguisable in love and light.

We have our love relationship with God - Spirit - we share that with our lover, our partner, our family, our community, our workplace our trees and sky and birds and world at large.
It is one love but the forms of the dance differ. The more unified and whole we let ourselves be the more consistent and congruent our life becomes.

For the love of God why would I bitch about X? (I'm bitching about X - dissonance alert - Let truth be revealed to me here that God's sanity and peace can be a basis for whatever is next).

There - that's also a tool - dissonance alert. If it isn't going off you are either too awake for any trouble to attract you - or are so well managed in your sleeping habit that every thing can be taken for grantedly dealt with as if it was just the way the world is and you just manage it successfully.

If you really want to be with God it must follow that you really do not want to be with egocentricity.

What we really do not want - is dissonant to our heart.

On this basis alone - all of the world we know should be called in question.

A world of difference

The term 'the world' can be used as a symbol for the false division of the projection of thought. As if there is a thinker - separate from the thought. A fantasy played out on top of truth - truly played out as act of attention but never true. Making symbols of life and light in place of the Living One. Yes - an act of attention to a thought as a basis of experiencing an inference of self as a special object.

The world can be a generic term for the field and objects of awareness - that are not separate from awareness.

Whatever is said, done or believed - or if nothing is said, done or believed, there is the awareness of - something. And this is not parceled out as such concepts suggest - but is a movement of unified being. Not moving in space or in time - but the movement of mind by which it knows itself - before - and beyond time and space.

'Knowing Thyself' - is never a thing apart from all that is - there is no exclusion and nothing withheld.

This is meaningless to a mind that still hides in the dark as if - there is a need to hide - and as if darkness could hide it.

Yet it is the simple Meaning of Everything because it is the Knowing itself - the loving itself - or one could say the selflessness of pure awareness in all things.

Whatever attempts are made to describe - can only serve as springboards or stepping stones for the heart that discerns life energetically and trusts into letting the Movement be all that is. All that lives.

Jesus lived the Kingdom whilst talking of it as nigh. This was because others could not yet apprehend directly.
Yet his apprehension of God is shared with us because he did not withhold it.

While we interpret all things in worldly terms we do not apprehend directly - but there is a step by step process of loosening and sorting that allows the mind to welcome and receive the light, and draws it to the recognition that the Light is our very being. More loosening and sorting! But now it is the Light that is directly working and not the filter of the middleman self who proclaims the light and loves the light but demands it be outside.

Judgement is not ours - give it to God and we receive his love. Hang onto it and it will shatter and fragment the oneness of love into meaningless parts.

My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world.

The thought of God is the Meaning that blesses and recognizes the world in truth, love and beauty.
Jesus's love of those who seemed to hate - did not see hate - nor even an other, lost and needing help.
Jesus's love is God love - no middleman - transparent Agency of Divine. In Whom All know themselves truly and are blest.

What of the mind that seems to be oblivious and trapped in its own hate?
Take no thought for your self, but let God show you - instead of trying to manage or deal with it independently.

The Universal Current and Law is unifying.
But acts not from the perspective of disunity.
It calls for a shift into inclusion.
As we forgive - so are we forgiven.
As we release so are we released.
As we give recognition and honour - so is God rising as our very light.

The world of form is a schoolroom for mind.
It may seem like minds - each in form - but this cannot be other than wishful thinking.
What then is the lesson here?
To re member, even amidst the appearance of dismemberment - and live the life as truly Given and received.
Is this a movement toward perfection? No - it is a movement of Perfection.

Is there really anything else going on that isn't the result of thinking alone?
In willingness to Join - are questions that seemed meaningful not rendered irrelevant?

But if we choose to think some more, we have no penalty apart from the forsaking of our joy for the result of a forced preference against it. And the liability to a condition in which guilt and fear thrive out of a sense of dissonance forcefully denied.
Surely one day we will laugh that such a thought could be taken seriously.

Perhaps today.
But let us not demonstrate how it was that the world can suddenly become dark, fearful and binding - just by thinking along these lines ....

In Peace



Not a worldly approach

A worldly approach starts out from the presumption that the world is reality and is cause - and each would seek maximum benefit for the role that is played out within such a world.

Creation and miscreation both, are thought. One is the reflection and extension of eternal truth, the other arises from a thought of otherness - and the play of polarity founded on accepting or seeking validity for otherness.

Desire is fundamental. The awakening of true desire is the revealing of the always true, to the mind that releases its involvement with the falsely identified - or thought based - desire.

You could say that your mind is in training as co-creator. It thought it could live outside the heart - and desired to follow that thought.

It still sleeps in such a thought, but the desire that maintains illusion is wearing thin, and the dissonance of conflicted thought and identity that was rendered unconscious by disguise is less and less concealed. Yet also is the call of the heart felt.

The call of the heart is not the call to the world - yet to attend the call of the heart will allow your own truth - and joy - to extend to the Mind we share - which is underneath the mask of the world.

Having 'made' a mind of specialness, now let it be given a special function by a Purpose wholly shared in willingness.

That a healed perception may replace the double vision of conflicted will.
‘Your life’ given to it’s source - is restored and revealed as extension of Love’s presence.
In whose vision, the light in your brother and sister is the Father's Light.

 In Peace



Awakening to the true nature of the Matrix

In the film the Matrix, Neo is shot and killed - yet suddenly ‘sees’ the true nature of the so called reality in which usury, control, war and death operate as real - and he then expresses both an invulnerability and dominion - from that realisation. Without getting involved in the film - I responded to someone who saw this as a metaphor for Awakening, and who saw many parallels with A Course in Miracles and NTI teachings.

If all we really see are thoughts in our mind that give rise to experiencing thought as an externality that then comes to define us as subject to it - and not as mind aware of and one with its thought.

To explore and discover the nature or merit of such a proposition or enquiry is a matter of free attention and the desire or movement of the heart.

The thing to become aware of is the presumption that is accepted as your starting place.
We humanly identify with self of mind in body – in a world of bodies – and believe the thought that seems to demonstrate that this is fact.

Yet beneath this is desire that sets it up and maintains it.

You can ‘stick your awareness’ out of the flow of habitual intent for a moment and have a different perspective on everything – but if the force that is behind this motive is still self generated, then it is not supported in the Movement of desire – and still constitutes an attempt to fight limitation rather than transcend it.

So my sense is that the truth – and the love of truth – must be welcomed and nurtured to grow in that which, before, I guarded and wielded as - ‘my life’.

The purpose and nature of truth has never been to validate my specialness – nor even to support and maintain my demand to identify with judgement as the determiner of reality.
It has always been the purpose and nature of truth to be self-revealing – to itself – in love – as love. But our notion of love is so distorted and reversed that it may be more helpful to simply let truth be self revealing – and let that discovery be the intimate and direct experience of all that is – in truth.

The freedom to shift attention and location or act from beyond the accepted limits and laws of matterial reality, cannot be the activity of a body – or a mind that believes it is a body - or the mind that believes itself separated from Mind - in contrast and opposition to others.
This is because the locking in of the mind in a fragment of itself – in demand that that this be its special home and protection – and weapon – is the forfeit of the conscious participation in Truth - until its purpose is changed.

My sense is that the way to be restored to our true participation in a Greater Life than the world knows – is the free relinquishment of self will or specialness.
This is generally humiliating experience of disempowerment in terms of the world – yet not a self selected act for that is just another self based ploy to exercise judgement.

So in being ‘simply human’ and embracing the felt ordinary humanity of my day – I am inevitably brought to moments of noticing – that arise from truth and not from self-effort. The choice I then have is one of NOT recycling or repeating the ‘old habit’ of self illusion. In THAT willingness truth is made welcome and I feel such relationship alive as joy – as inspiration – and so forth.

The capacity of the mind to try to jump ahead of its Master (The Awakened Heart), is easily observable. Wisdom is also a willingness to be a beginner – so that the first step is always the kneeling in the heart.  Then the next step is guided – and even if what is guided seems to be difficult or impossible – you are with One who is holding your hand and maintaining your steadiness of intent – despite the old habits of thought.

I am now reminded to say that – to actually practice in such cooperative loving – we have to release the wonderful understandings we had gained and cherish as if they themselves can feed us – and turn in trust to the source of all insight and guidance in willingness and trust. 

This ‘awakening process’ is not a loss of self, but until truth grows as the light of true awareness, the thought based substitute inevitably enacts its drama of self upon and around every instance of awakening. But awakening is merely attention to truth.

Let truth directly replace the assertions of thought that I had wanted to believe instead – because I would be at one and not at war.
And because I would let love Be with me , on terms I do not set – for I will not to be alone.

And yes – to see and be from MIND constitutes awakened being. Whereas to act out from a presumption of being ‘a mind’, is to be filtered and distorted by separated specialness. I associate the release of mind into Mind as ‘holding hands’ in trust and so moving through great fear.
And I am seeing now how great the cost – is the grasping to ourselves of this ‘special love’ - by which truth is rendered impotent and void.

Yet all that is truly lovely is in and of truth and nothing I could truly want could come to me from a presumption of specialness.

It isn't that I must fight the temptation that sees everything in terms of a deceptive ‘self interest’. But that I must become a willingness to stop the mind, listen in trust and move with the Movement that is felt in the heart. (Or I will re-enact the fall/separation/crucifiction and experience it as real).

I’m quite happy to also explore such stories as the Matrix – but how can you represent the Wholeness in terms of a part – without making the part ‘special’?
All attempts to communicate the transpersonal in terms of a world of persons will have both strengths and liabilities. If the liabilities are not indulged - the teachings serve the heart’s awakening. This is because the guidance of the heart is being followed in undoing the liabilities of separated self-will.

The perspective of wholeness has dominion because its parts have not actually any separated power in their own right, and because there is no opposition to any aspect of what is recognised as ‘within’. True Dominion is not at all one of subduing a weaker or indeed dark power. It is Expression of Creator at one with – and completed by Creation.

To bring this Idea more humanly accessible – consider being a chairman or facilitation in a meeting whose members express apparently conflicting goals and intents. Your function is not to take sides – but to serve the whole – as a unified expression of intent and not merely some mechanical vote system. So you put your own thought aside and listen and feel and serve the process of real communication in which no voice is deprived from speaking and no voice is deprived from being heard. Because of the way in which you have served, the group’s willingness to communicate will discover the next step in which it can all freely agree to walk together. The Heart has dominion.

So consider the true cause of the seeming inability of the heart to communicate. It is not really the fear of hurt and rejection – but is the direct symptom of the desire to maintain a private will – with some story that ‘justifies’ the denial of the heart. (a cock crows thrice?)
What is an unshared love but a current neglect?

 in Love's blessing


A waking into Awakening

I woke today with a pervasive sense of yeuch! - a sense of something wrong - something unaligned - discordant. I didn't trust the thoughts and sense of self that associated with it as a basis to act from, so I rested from acting and abided as willingness for discovery or revelation of 'Life' before thought; for an appreciation and recognition that gracefully is found whenever I rest the mind.

My partner and lover in life and in Spirit loves  - and the loving is an undefendedness - a receptivity that embraces in freedom. Such a love reflected the place that my own sense of yeuch had 'covered over' and allowed the light to rise that doesn't really come or go - but which my habits of thought and desire obscure from time to time. What is the nature of the light? Let it speak its own to its own - but in this little box I will type 'conscious gratitude'. How deep is gratitude? - why it has no bottom.

I cannot speak of the heart of God but that the head trips into itself. But in gratitude I can write as the flow discovers - and trust that between the lines is the space that vibrates Alive.

I am glad for your company - grateful for your company. All of the teachings are nonsense - but in the love that keeps nothing for itself all is aligned to unified purpose - that truth knows Itself.

In such a light, is nowhere a thought of I - or other - identified In exclusion or guilt. Yes the thinking mind seems to 'try' to get back in - but that is residual desire for experience on terms of me being special; to possess or create my experience. So as I notice the discord, or the desire to be special or the symptoms of conflictedness - I stop to discover the original awareness in unconflicted inclusive experience that is being all that is - right where I thought I was as I thought I was.

Do I want to let truth be All That Is - as it is? Well in truth - yes, this is the desire of the heart - and the only peace to be truly shared. The voice of thinking suggests all sorts of variations upon a theme that in one way of another get me to think some more - if I listen and validate them. This would be ok except the habit runs deep in me to identify with discord as self or other guilt, rather than as an alarm that reminds me unreality is in play.

The grace of noticing is a 'rising' of truth from beneath the attention that expresses a sense of I.

I love you. Even in the realms of I and you. Such is the confession that rises and overflows in the expression of truth.

If I still have to think - then let thought serve the heart.
If I still have to think apart - let the noticing serve the heart.

The welcome we give ourselves undoes the rejection we believed active and effective in our experience. The aligned self, expressing unified being, extends welcome to its own.

Thankyou for your welcome.

In Love's blessing


When teachings talk of the illusion of the world

I feel the teaching awakens or re-minds an awareness in stillness such that, instead of running with the notions of self and world that habitually arise from the past,  attention is rested in a greater flow of being – that is already the case but was forgot while it was ‘self engaged’.
It is the ‘self seriousness’ arising from engagement with self image and the mind of judgement that upholds it, that costs us the appreciation and sharing of Life.

To ‘put down’ our role and accept that we are the maker of the script is to confess and relinquish specialness. I say confess, because we know it is a mean spirited an unloving thought that uses others and all things selfishly - and we associate it with guilt – without realising that guilt is simply the continuation of specialness; a condition of self illusion.

If you haven't seen a fake 16 dollar bill, then that is because there is not a real 16 dollar bill to make a copy of.  A fake dollar bill is an illusion of ‘something’ real.
To be awake and appreciative of the original is an appreciation and recognition of the real. It is when we try to grasp or stop life, analyse it and define it so as to be able to say something ‘about reality’ - that we invariable enter the arena of the mind and vocabulary of separation.

Because the awareness and the object of awareness are not actually two. Nor is the object of awareness outside you. This is hardly obvious while the role given by the script is identified with as ‘me’.  And it is hardly obvious that a script is running while I believe I can look outside and see enemy,  threat, and unworthiness of love.  Yet opposition is the purpose that gives a sense of a self in limitation, drama and struggle. When it is no longer wanted, it is no longer cultivated.

The Teacher of peace offers the ‘Living World’ to the learner of peace. Peace itself is not learned, but the conditions of war have been, and must be left unused. This is like learning you but hurt yourself – and now learning not to do that – in order to awaken truly beyond hurt or hurting.

In Peace


What you have given specialness has left you bankrupt, and your treasure-house barren and empty, with an open door inviting everything that would disturb your peace to enter and destroy. ~ A Course in Miracles T24

In dreams effect and cause are interchanged, for here the maker of the dream believes that what he made is happening TO him. He does NOT realize he picked a thread from here, a scrap from there, and wove a picture
out of nothing. For the parts do NOT belong together, and the whole contributes nothing to the parts to GIVE them meaning. ~ A Course in Miracles T24