Love and pretence

Love - in its truth - is prior to the activity of interpretation that the mind overlays - or intervenes with. This is to say it is deeper and closer to you than you are to your self in thought or imagination.
A tangible intimacy that is not merely thinking or emotional history or physical desire, 'touches' or registers in our awareness, and is an integrative or unifying experience of connectedness and communion - with person, place, or indeed with one's sense of experience itself.

Rather than being the result of seeking to 'get' an experience that is presumed desirable - it is the awakening to the felt nature and condition of life or relationship itself.
The mechanical habits of a mind that sees itself as having special and separative interests may only be suspended an instant before the glimpse is effectively cut off with doubting thought, emotional vacillation - and all the characteristics of the thinking based identity that sees a need for control as its protection and necessity - and trust as something to bargain with.

The desire to possess experience 'for oneself' is a fundamental human error.  It grew from a curiosity of capacities of thought, but by itself it is essentially a private experience that can not truly satisfy - for it's 'love' is conditional and turns to betrayal, hate or loss - the instant that conditions are no longer perceived as providing justification for love. Such a love cannot be trusted. Such human love is always ambivalent there is no peace it it - because of what lies underneath its seeming.

Our concept of love is likely to be coloured by the fantasies and demands for external events or persons who fill or provide the experience of what we believe we lack; meaning, protection, adventure, importance, validity, acceptability, purpose and etc. As long as we accept and cultivate a sense of ourselves as lacking or unwhole in our essential being, we are bound to seek without for the 'answer' to a sense of life in dilemma - and we can become expert in assuming such an identity and believing it can achieve the promise of life that its seeks, even when any real hope of such an abiding alignment of conditions is eroded leaving a desperate and loveless existence that has yet to be presented as workable and made tolerable by whatever can be brought into play.

Yet what love actually is, is still active but largely unrecognized - even amidst the acting out of a loveless sense of necessity - for its nature is the core or essence or be-ing upon which the drama of the self is played out as if it were as if it presents itself - to itself and others. Love's awakening is a shift from identification with self in story to identity at rest in love. The process of such a shift is both sudden and gradual in that the revelation of what was always true has no degree, yet the acceptance and integration of such truth into a mind that has become identified with its story is itself a step by step process of loosening and releasing of that which is revealed to be both false or unfounded, and destructive - or undermining - to the peace in which awareness can operate directly; as one's essential sanity.

The intelligence of love was not lost in pursuit of loveless goals - but merely hidden while their purpose is actively engaged. As the intent and desire to impose upon reality loosens, the innate intelligence or guidance of love rises - and uses the contents of the mind to guide the mind to discover 'the way Home'. Initially this is inevitably associated with specific and favourable conditions and these are to be embraced with joy - but the mind is led through its willingness to look again on its underlying presumption, belief and intent - in which it has become confused with its own story and 'victim' to its own thought.

To awaken to your own loving is not to be validated in any seeming capacity to love in your own right - but to recognise, accept and welcome the love that Is Moving ... in you - as you - through you - and to you. It is not added to you - yet in acceptance of what is - as it is - are all things shown in a true light.

The condition in which love is unrecognised is one of a desire and identification for opposition or conflict - for in love truly there is none.  Yet there is the clear capacity to see the judgements, definitions, roles and meanings that such a story weaves - exactly as it is - and therefore not enter into or identify with it.
To refuse or not employ the desire to judge reality, releases the filters and distortions of a past made in error - and allows a truly creative present to be itself.

Habits held long and dear do not disappear immediately even if they are realised to be unwanted. Defences developed amidst great fear as a temporary solutions to unbearable experience do not cease to be triggered  - and to trigger the old perspective. But in love's acceptance and embrace it is clear that you are neither victim or victimizer - nor a neutrality arbiting from a presumed fence of un-involvement. The way of love is very different from the way of doing, because the doings that are love's expression arise naturally from a willingness to be still of self and listen, and express a willingness for life that is without coercive intent; of a wellspring shared in common,. For the Source of life is not separated from its expression. Nor are the expressions of life, fragmented parts of a meaningless source.

Love is the condition in which the problem as fear defined it, no longer exists, but has become the opportunity for love to be remembered and therefore expressed or shared.
Our denial of the flow and expression of our innate feeling being - of our Soul - is our true loss. Nothing in this world can substitute for it - but the search for love outside ourselves only re-enacts the basis whereby we suffer the belief we have been deprived and denied by another will than our own.
Yet everything in the world - rightly seen - becomes a means for awakening and restoring sanity - but not on the basis of privately maintained judgements arising within a privately maintained independence from love.
Be still of thinking and extend trust beyond the fences you thought to keep you safe alone.