When something is made into an ‘answer’ to a problem it becomes another expression of that same problem. This is why the problem needs to be undone rather than merely solved within its own frame of reference.
When trust is restored - it is extended. To meet in trust is to be without attempts to make another be what you want them to be. It is the release of fantasy relationship. We can make fantasy upon a body and sacrifice or subordinate - but we can only surrender consciously into relationship. Love.
To be with oneself truly is to be with all. In specific terms this means that if I can be present in relationship then I cannot but be open to the movement of Relationship. If I try to control the flow - I become distracted, conflicted and out of alignment. But if I then notice this... I can simply bring attention back to you, the moment is rediscovered - here - unbroken. But if I persist in asserting or framing my outcome I amplify dissonance and infer a self that isn't true, to be using and used by guilt. Hollow, mechanical and meaningless. And if I persist in a ‘self’ assertion from a premise of masking or overcoming such guilt I will tend to deny and disown it - and thus it projects unrecognised as reflected misperception. I can become vacant, elsewhere engaged, lifeless, or even cruel.
Touch is a most primary sense. There is a saying that 'the body' doesn't lie. You can feel when someone feels you feeling them.
You know when you are received. You know when you are touched with love, for as you accept it, you share it. But of course if one depends on the 'past' to teach and guide - then one doesn't become present to discover that one knows - But defends against intimacy because it feels uncontrollable.
Because we live - mostly - such an out of touch existence we have a strong impulse toward touch - yet this is also often associated with confusion, guilt and sin - or a feeling of wrongness - to such a degree that many are inhibited from experiencing the delight of physical expression in almost any way.
Because in confusion we seek and assert strategies of control, denial, dissociation and mutual contracts of partiality, we are often loveless in our relationship - substituting the pursuit of pleasure for love's fulfilment. Yet there is nothing so wondrous as being in the company of one you can altogether accept as they are and feel accepted - as you are - not fatalisticly - as in accepting ‘I am this or that’ - but livingly in being without fixity of definition. 'What would love have me do?' is not for thinking about - but is the unselfconscious impulse of a heart at rest in its own knowing.
How about never making love with the same one again? Not because you seek more experience - but because you surrender into and seek the peace of God - in whom all things are made new. In such a present loving one cannot ‘reenact the past’ and become anything other than dissonant - caught up and and separated in thought and experience. That can be good news if you simply let go of the goal orientation and just be with - be present and give as you would receive; receiving as you choose to give. Is it a 'miracle' to see fears evaporate? Not really. It is the simple effect of releasing wilfulness, once recognised.
‘Miracles are natural. When they do not occur something has gone wrong’. ~ A Course in Miracles
When the mind is not engaged in judgement - there is no defining of body and parts - no need to get anywhere or achieve anything but every incentive to be drawn present. The secret of making love is to be already making love. If touching or mingling of selves becomes the thread of expression - nothing essentially changes. When our focus of attention spreads to include other threads of life - love is still the condition - the environment in which we both move.
For our relationship with our Be-ing or God is our relationship with each other and in any real relationship, are all held.
Trust is often associated with an outcome - "I trust you not to abandon me" etc. But awakening trust is allowing the truth of what you are, to be itself and to grow in the willingness to learn of life in truth's terms instead of in terms of 'what do I get out of this?’. Freedom is the gift that elicits the honour of loving.
Isn't this what we are afraid of? - becoming 'trapped' into the 'sacrifice' of self in love.
Well there it is - am I willing to look honestly at myself in relationship or am I still comitted to 'keeping my options open'?
All the options of the world are the same. It may be hard to credit that but it is true. Some things have a longer ‘sell by’ date and some things seem better than other things - but all of it is the desire to remain in hiding; on the run; homeless. No matter how impeccably it is presented. For what does it profit us to gain the world but lose Soul?
Bodies were once dissected in looking for ‘the soul’ but it was not found. But the personality which is presumed by ‘I think therefore I am’ is already asserting itself to be within a body, cut off from the Life Energy it depends on and subordinated to the blind and tyranous intent of a loveless expression. This will not find Soul! But may be undone or fall away to reveal it.
Restore the 'body' to its function in truth and discover that you are wholly communicating - there are no private minds - for that is only a device of unconsiousness, by which all is perceived as fragmented entities - ‘things’ within a mind that plays with the idea of difference and has become enamoured and forgetful in its intent.
The feeling of the Light is known in the heart. The heart may have a focus in the heart area but is of wholebodily radiance and receptivity. Nothing is excluded - for nothing intrudes upon indivisibility. Until and unless you think - and invest your identity there.
Yet the dance of love is also the willingness and faith by which we hold to the compass of our heart and forego or repent of the loveless in the willingness to receive anew of the Spirit by which we live.
‘Spiritual path’ or practice is not really to do with externals - but with the engagement and heartfelt involvement in your life - now.
So there is no need to ‘get there’ - but all the need is to be with what is already here in a way that is guided by love, truth, joy and self mercy of acceptance, such that - no matter what - here is a good place to start. Let the heart be turned. Give welcome as you would be welcomed. Let felt gratitude outshine the fear that would grasp at life and lose it.
The undoing of guilt is the release of wilfulness, or self-willed assertion, in One Self. Not an intellectual premise upon which to assert a new set of definitions that are just as much of a blindness to Light of Innocence in all things as before - because they bypass the movement of truth in our heart - in grace and gift of which - I see (in) you beloved.
The Holy Spirit Mind uses all things on behalf of truth's awakening - if you give them up from being kept secret, private, by yourself.
Awareness - knowing Itself - is so one with all that you are as to be completely outside any range of focus that the mind in limitation can encompass. Yet its effects are everywhere to be seen and in their acknowledgement, recognition, and acceptance are you found Home, Recognised, Acknowledged, Welcome.
This all can sound too holy, too spiritual, too 'not like it looks like from here' - so I finish with a reminder not to take ourselves too seriously - to laugh and allow fun - to be out from definitions without making 'new rules' for freedom! And all things shall be added you.