Fear of Life


This is writing that came from reading the essay at the above link. It simply offers into a thread of conversation.

Fear of life seems to be autonomous or automatic, and expresses itself as a polarised experience in which the world - or external conditions, are felt to be imposed or to impose themselves upon a focal point of awareness that contracts upon itself as an inwardness of thought and withdrawal from full and free relatedness.
The identification of self with the inward thinking mind becomes a foundation from which the mind looks out, and an identification that calls on the power of mind to justify, validate and defend. Yet what is asserted, maintained and defended as self is the very nature of fear of life, but expressed outwardly in attempt to avoid the undoing of the sense of self definition that arises naturally in a true relatedness. For life is not as the mind of definition would have and hold. It is already here and it is awareness, knows feeling, and shares or communicates presence universally or without limit - in edgeless wholeness.
The mind of human has a cultural sense of the prior reality as Soul or Spirit, but in the attempt to use the pathways of remembering as the extension of its own seeming power to become a something in its own right, it trades in a living sense of idea felt in the peace of the heart, for a dry concept - with magical associations in the continued wish for a special sense of self-becoming.

Fear of life is on surface identified with external threat, and strategies are developed to overcome or mitigate or manage the threat so as to regain or attain a sense of order and stability in which to pursue self interest without opposition. In other words there is the desire to win, to prevail, or to triumph, and this will is a demanding and accepting only its own way.

The assertion of self will is the expression of opposition and it meets opposition. This experience will become intolerable and the mind will develop strategies of dissociation in order to manipulate situations that cannot be won outright. In other words, we develop a mask, a persona, a virtual self that itself is a proxy or extension of a sense of self founded in polarised or split identification.

The play of the mind in virtualisation is experienced as real but it is an overlay of imagination upon and within Mind or Life itself. The wish and presumption of independence of self is itself the single most blinding condition to the conscious appreciation of, and participation in - and as - Unified Life.

The currency of support for the separate self sense is definition or judgement, which is always an act of exclusion from Living Presence. Image, symbol, concept and story, have fleshed out a time and space distraction amidst and in place of, the timeless nature of being.

When the desire for the experience of distraction wears thin, the desire to know and love reality as it is awakens or stirs as the truth of you, and the mind is led back to a true understanding and acceptance in which it releases or forgives what it believed it had done and become and accepts in its place the true foundation of all being.

The world ceases to be used as a playground for self experience in which to prevail and becomes the opportunity to remember truth and share the love that moves as the nature of being in a true freedom or spontaneity. That the old habit remains is beside the point because the purpose has changed. It will now become apparent that one but fights oneself and this cannot be engaged with passion or conviction and so the basis on which the mind is working has to be seen so as to release the cycle of an old and unwanted habit.

The nature of the experience of Being has been talked of in terms of love, peace, joy and creative freedom and these can point the way, but the experience-hungry mentality of a sense of self lack cannot see or have anything directly to do with reality excepting that even an imaginary mind is directly is wholly dependant on reality to even seem to be real.

The honesty of not knowing coincides with the release of surface certainties and allows the rising of depth to know itself from its own nature and being - instead of the assertions and demands of form based meaning. To thought this could seem fearful - as if the depth is an otherness that takes one over, but in practice it is the shedding of fear and the allowing of embrace. And in terms of the world and its self, a fresh appreciation extends as a step. The step is not a new definition to use in handling the world, the step is a step in undoing the mind that believes its experience in the world is its true life. For the transcendence of experience is the release of the fearful and glamourous adventure of limitation and suffering for a light and presence of being in which all things are made new - that is to say a timeless revelation that neither comes or goes of which nothing can be said - for the attempt to say is but the activity of a mind in story; a wish, a self defining usurpation of an always already perfect communication.

When we find but our thoughts we have simply not uncovered the willingness to let ourselves in, but the willingness to let our thought be seen as it is rather than as it thinks is the growing of the willingness to accept truth as it is, and be free of suggestions and associations which colour, cloud and confuse, whereby the truth of love is forgot.