2009/10/13

A present focus in our relationships

When we notice that we have a tendency to tell our ‘story’ over and over again and thus reinforce our own identification with the script, we can choose not to do it. To simply not engage the practice. as a discipline of the heart.

A complementary approach is to simply but firmly hold a desire and willingness to bring attention into present focus in our relationships.

This naturally becomes mind-watching – but is in the context of letting relationship bring us present rather than use it to replay the past or anticipate future and confuse these with Now.

An untrained mind ‘meanders all over the place’ in both time and space. imagination plays a large role in this because – we are not all over the place – we are in present relationship with.

To bypass predefinitions about our present relationship – is to allow a fresh discovery aligned with truth as it is revealed to our willingness and welcome.

When we behold or receive the presence of another, rather than ‘read them in terms of our ‘personal database of comparative impressions’, we become the act of giving attention presently. This is of the nature of love and draws communication of like kind in a manner that is fitting or helpful within the current setting.

Predefined realities make for pre scripted reactions that become - in effect - armouring against intimacy.
Intimacy is firstly within our own heart – and then extends outward.
Attaining ‘familiarity’ of social ease may become a lubricant to successfully prevent the friction or embarrassment of the mask slipping off.
We can easily not realise that we are so engaged - if in a society that normalizes substitution for life.

Living without the mask is to live out of a present trust. This could be to trust to shine or share openly that which is normally associated with weakness – but without apology or sense of problem.

I have a gang of plasterers working in my house this week. They are working with Radio 1 and getting high spirited in occasionally singing along – albeit in larking about mode. I tend to see Radio 1 as a sort of mind killing medication – self applied – in desire to lubricate and mask dis-ease.
Oh I hate it!
But in this context I may use it – to observe and move beyond reactivity. I can of course ask them to turn it down, turn it off, go for walks or trips out, shut doors, play my own music, or whatever. But the thing is not what I do or don't do – it is simply whether it expresses reactivity or true communion. I don't care for challenges – but I do care to be open to the Spirit’s prompting – and here is an opportunity to allow transfer into areas I have kept apart!


My partner Cathi visits people at home as part of her work. One particular man was broadcasting ‘hard done by’ and grievance with such dramatic intensity that Cathi was inspired to step completely beyond the show - and simply ‘was given’ an instant of knowing that shared as she caught his eye in recognition of the one behind the show.
This act did not oppose or criticise his tirade – yet it effectively pulled the curtain on one who had become exclusively engrossed in an activity that simply misses the mark – and allowed a more practical communication to occur that served well being.

When one meets the heart’s attention, one is brought present.
That which isn't true – falls away.
That which is true is more clearly expressed and revealed.

The mind-habit seeks to regain a sense of control and this ‘takes’ attention back into story. Yet repeated willingness over time fruits the capacity to abide in Identity at Rest – and the stillness shifts from seeming something lacking or threatening to being the sense of Home. Where Light clearly is. Where joy abides.


in Love's blessing
Brian

Postscript: I did enage a process of release regarding the radio and this has allowed and brought forth a discovery of each other in new ways rather than a polarisation of difference.