From the heart of a gentle Brother

The thinking says it is mine.
It is stuff I have a habit of engaging with.
It isn't a mind at rest, it isn't a heart in trust.
It seems to be something I cant help and I feel shit.
A drive to deal with, untangle or fix the shit.
I might seem to get a handle for a while but it comes back worse.
I hang on as if somehow there is something I can do that will get me out of this.
But that is the same mind thinking that keeps me in shit.

I do not want to do this any more.
I want to be free of the mind that shits on life.
I cant do it.

I can not do it.

I can not do it.

This is simply true.
And simply stops.
The mind.

Letting truth be.

Truth is never the thinking alone.
Always the heart feels and knows and breathes.

If even a moment of truth touches
 - the peace of it is here – and the shit is not.
Even if all the symptoms are running,
I feel this life clean
where the thinking is suspended
not employed to get a handle

Nothing's changed, everything's changed.
I have a sense of life moving
and I trust and feel it as my own - in quiet,
even though I feel such a sense of wanting to attend it
so as not to call up shit.
That is now just stuff to leave behind.
It doesn't say anything about me.
And I don't have to do anything about it.

Whatever the next step
I am open
I am encouraged
I am willing
and I am grateful.

I know I rejoin the practicalities of life in a different way
and I know I don't have to be anxious about losing it
There's a lightness that feels it knows its way.
I'll go and do – whatever - now
it ok to be just as it is.