2010/06/08

Isn't it hard to get past ego and hear and feel guidance?

An unwilling mind is an excellent and ingenious defence mechanism - so to try to do anything directly about the blocks and expectations that filter and falsely limit our life is likely to get sucked into giving the mind some more to do.

Where am I putting my attention?
When I notice what I am doing with my attention I can then choose to let it be directed according to the value that I discover in the heart. Otherwise it will tend to be programmed by the habitual busy preoccupation that tends to skim the surface without really connecting with anything or anyone.

To allow the heart to rise is counter to this habitual restlessness and is like letting tensions fall off, instead of perpetuating the conditions of conflict or strain.

The human heart is usually involved in stories and interpretations set within the orphan framework - a sense of self that seeks outside itself for completion and in itself feels lacking.
But the heart that is your truth sense - is where the movement of Spirit is felt.

Its a curious thing - trust - you cant make it so. Its a dance of willingness and demonstration.
No matter what we think we want - there is defensiveness of resistance that does not allow our self (as we experience ourselves) to be touched and opened. If these blocks were just tensions in the body you would just notice them as you became still and then relax wherever you find you are holding tight. Well they also are - so scanning the body, noticing and releasing tension, and floating in the presence - is a way into allowing now.

I look to be myself with Spirit. No point in trying to clean up first - or having any pretensions - and no point either in rolling out the disqualifiers of self judgement - they are just a bunch of thoughts that are not relevant to love.

To be remembered or restored or renewed in love - I release the accumulations or associations of the mind by persistently not identifying or employing them, and become open as the condition of trust, free of the wilful activity which excludes any possibility of sensing, feeling, or intuiting the current of life that is the true intimacy of being.

Yes I meet all sorts of self configurations that are all just ways of not listening. But I also notice that when it occurs and feel for the desire in the heart that is the key. For I am not into self efforting solutions which express and reinforce  a sense of lack. I need God - not spiritual muscles.

I need God because God is the Only Life. I don't need to try and make my life work so much as let God be - and be the expression that comes from that - rather than being a 'me' who needs to pretend God isn't here - in order to dress up in front of the mirror and play.

It is always so much simpler than words would suggest to a mind that is utterly in the grip of the presumption that something must change, that something must be added or taken away in order to rest in completion.

So is it hard? One can say it is extremely difficult - it can surely be experienced that way.
But you can also say it is the easiest most natural thing to be that which you already truly are.

What I would share with you  - is that statements of difficulty can feel true relative to our past experience  but can become a way of imposing the past onto the present and denying the presence of God to our appreciation.

So no matter how difficult it seems - I am looking to just note that that is a thought I have emotional investment in - and choose instead to feel for and trust from - a different starting place.

Its a shift that a little willingness always brings - where instead of working on oneself - I just let be and don't have any sense of needing to do anything about any of it. Guiltlessness... I may then feel a desire towards contemplation or action but it doesn't feel driven by lack.

Maybe its good to realize that its hard. Maybe its the hardest thing - because there's no half hearted way to let the truth of love be the gift you receive and share. But then look at the seeming alternative. It doesn't seem hard to run on whatever old programs take us - excepting it sure feels crap. (Well that's my confession at least). As we open to truth we more readily recognize the dissonance of untruth and lose the desire to and capacity for a sham substitute.

Most of what is hard is from trying to do or take on too much. If we simply take this step in trust and do not get mentally and emotionally involved in mind rehearsing outcomes based on past judgements, we would travel lightly - freely and with joy in our heart. So it is in every truly conscious step. Truth is uncovered in place by living from it.

If any of this helps - well good. If not then at least know that your company has guided my heart and typing fingers - and they feel connected and communioned. Because you see - I listen with you easily for here is a shared purpose - reminding me of love's unified nature - whereas busy little me can easily become identified with thinking, doing, with roles and the wheel ruts of thought-tracks.

in Gratitude

Brian