When we notice that our spirits are about to dip or diminish because of something that we are about to do or that is happening or seemingly done to us ... pause ...
Guilt is only unconscious insofar as our mind is so quick in its programmed reaction – and that it was set up as a defence and is ‘hidden’ by clever means not unlike magicians who distract attention while doing something out of ‘sight’ but in front of our noses.
By pausing within what might otherwise be - a done deal – I allow an opportunity to notice and consider from a place of my (and therefore everyone’s) innate worth for love and peace in practical terms.
Joy is not too difficult to allow in all sorts of moments and situations – and from the appreciation of joy one can easily start to immediately recognise when it is undermined or lost.
Though there are things that seem to justify loss of joy – I hold that it is an act in my own heart and mind by which it collapses and I densify into the ‘necessities’ of whatever seems to call for sacrifice.
Until we awaken we are as slaves to fear in ways that we may or may not recognise. It is difficult to allow this into awareness without self judgements – but that is what is needed. To be able to just notice – in the act – what it is we are doing – and within that noticing – will grow guiltless awareness – from which you will clearly see a choice – when you see clearly.
In family disputes we can lose it and say and act in ways that hurt - and then catch ourselves and say truly that we do not mean hurt – and repent of it and resolve to choose better next time. Well sometimes it takes a concerted and consistent willingness held over many occasions to bring that resolve to bear fruit in the manner that one envisions – because every time our buttons are pushed we react before we realize that we are acting out of a history tape.
So don't worry if it seems to take lather rinse and repeat – just remember in your heart that you desire to learn of peace, how to accept it and be guided within its ways. Such a desire will not be long unfulfilled in answer – even if the answer is a step along the way where you realise what is also desired is countering the desire for peace.
The thing is to keep it moving – which is to say to not judge and get stuck in conclusions.
These are my words offered - but of course use your own understandings!