I have been observing the channel of feeling-being open and shut.
This is what letting in the experience of Spirit facilitates ; seeing the difference.
And having a basis for choice that is outside the programming of past learning.
The minds sutters can be a bit like a sphincter that inadvertently locks shut after even a tiny opening.
Open or shut is indeed the assertion of control or the release of control.
As open - the flow of being is not only allowed but includes and awakens what is really me.
Communion is here willingly engaged. Whatever the flow is, identifies itself as it moves and yet identifies all things as one.
It may not suggest this in words but if you rest and feel as simple noticing awareness it will speak you in intimate terms and you may find your own symbol and words if you wish to communicate about it.
As closed - the distortions manifest as complexities (of dissociation and displacement) that seem to justify differentiation and defence against the flow. Judgement and the attempt to grasp and control. In short this is me-mine-centric.
Whensome twelve years ago, I saw my truly and dearly beloved daughter's dead body, the sense of violation and grief felt like having my own soul pulled up at the root. Yet it wasnt - it was starkly and clearly revealed as a root. For the capacity to feel such a love as this is within a spaciousness that is always bigger than any thing or sense of self. Yet even here I observed the grace of flow being ‘taken over’ by crocodile tears. The love felt is Grace. The loss inferred and thought about is static interference. ‘Me me me’.
Crocodile tears are tears whose purpose is to get. Ego is only a getter. It cannot love - but it can worship and weave the forms of love into its story. If ego takes on the form of what is flowing - (as it will always attempt to do if invited by even a moment of unwatched mind taken by habit) - and I cannot at that time release it, then I desist from the form of expression until I find a sense of communion again. I dont fight or judge myself for being unable to wholly flow presently - but let it flow past like clouds. Acceptance that, is not enactment of, or investment or identification in.
There are times I have known where emotional blockages simply owned and released, have completely refreshed and healed all sorts of physical or interpersonal ailment.
But if ever I have looked for them - I have only gone on a thinking based witchhunt and prolonged ignorance.
It seems that asking is something that we do out of a sense of communion and that thinking is something we do out of a sense of control. But the latter can so often seem to be an asking because it can take the form of a question.
Resting the mind allows the space in which awareness simply rises to the fore and allows freedom to notice and recognise and appreciate.
To persist in keeping the channel open is not to apply force - but rather to grow willingness to notice when force is being applied and release it in trust.
The point at which you realize you have been sleepwalking your day is a moment of awakening - be careful that it isn't lost to self judgements!