2011-01-25 1:48 PM (#147503)
Subject: "Hang on - I lost it" Quote Reply Alert Edit Delete
Location: Wells-next-the-Sea in Norfolk, England.
When we deny our own Soul communication, it is usually self presented to our awareness as some kind of experience that denies or demands deprivation of us. Because if we were to see it as it is - we could not effect the denial.
This in effect uses others or the world to play a role in justifying a withheldness of self - to itself. The others and the world are not fundamentally involved or concerned with our hidden script - but in our interpersonal relations we soon communicate our demands in subtle ways, (that may never be openly stated), whereby we indicate that we need others to back off - or indeed to come forward - with specific kinds of behaviour - to serve our own private needs.
When we are getting wise to this way of hiding from ourself we can ‘see’ it in others - and if it pains us - it is because it speaks directly within us of our own pain - in which and by which we are locked - because we are frozen in our own communication. I am using the term communication here in its true wide sense of relatedness and involvement and participation - and not as a bunch of commentary or assertion or perceptions that seek validation.
We may let Life in - by trusting into a receptive stillness - but if we then do not abide in that and let it guide our be-ing - we switch back into non receptive assertion - and ‘lose it’.
“Losing it” has correlating experience on many levels - all of which are characterized by limitation, disconnection and isolation. In such lack of perspective, all kinds of thoughts and scenarios play out as an adventure in experience that is in turns; exciting, glamourous, threatening and meaningful as a sense of struggle towards a desired outcome. But its premise is false and it is at the expense of peace and appreciation of an unconflicted love. From such a truly restored and rested perspective we can see presently that it is not our true desire to initiate the activity of intention and thought that result in confusion and conflictedness.
The keynote that is Christ awakening is that there is a shift or recognition from a situation perceived outside me - into a direct intimacy that is me - yet not any sense of me defined and not with any sense of a self amidst an otherness or situation other to me. As long as the situation is seen and engaged as between others - there is strategy at work as to what is revealed and what is withheld. But in the awakened recognition of the heart - there is a Re-membering presently of one’s own inclusion in all that Be ing truly is - and THIS ‘Knows’ Itself perfectly - and so is beheld as a knowing that operates as a seamless guidance and communication. Yet even such a beholding is itself an expression of the Be ing. There is no separate part from which to know or judge anyone or anything - ever.
The mechanism of denial is heartless - because it is the mind acting as if outside the heart. To identify with such mind is to kill or deny or imprison the heart - and experience as if that were in fact so.
To let the Heart Be - and to let it Guide, is far from any emotional need or reaction to hurt - but is simply peace of wholeness. For the seeming heart is the attempt to salvage some love from the fragmented experience of a fearful and heartless identification.
The release of the hurtful is not in enacting scenarios of atonement. The release is in stopping everything and letting the Father in. The Movement that is the discernment of Life - speaks all things truly - because it is without ‘knowledge’. It is innocent of what we take as knowledge.
We may fear that if we let down our defences and be seen as we truly are - then we will surely be condemned because we are so sure that we ‘know’ we hold unworthy and hateful thoughts. Yet truth is that these are fundamentally retained in consciousness - even unconsciously - by attempt to deny and reject them - from an unjoined sense of self.
The force with which they are denied is the force they seem to have in insinuating or violating your consciousness. There is no ‘devil’ but that hating hatred and fearing fear obscures the mind from seeing truly. As the mind is relaxed - so the drama ceases to drive the show. Attention is freed from its objects and is restored to its Source. It is not something to work out - but an allowing of what truly works to dawn in our awareness.
To desire truth is to desire peace - for peace is the condition in which truth is clearly appreciated. Peace is the abandonment of ‘knowledge’, of search and of the exercise of wilful imagination. In its calm you can simply feel when to wait and when to extend your outstretched hand - and all that is needed is Given you - as it is called forth. This is not a state of attainment - but a freedom from the mind of attaining. The desire for a special self is not love and must be seen simply as it is - from a perspective that is free of its seeming allure - from a rested not-knowing that is in no danger of knowing anything! For It can never leave it Source!
In the release of ‘knowledge’, recognition beholds and ‘falls into’ That Which Lives all things. And that even so, the world of appearances arising is not actually modifying or fragmenting or limiting the un-knowable but untouchable Truth. God-Being All That Is You Are.